December 10, 2014 12:00 AM | by Dalia Hosny
How to Deal with Toxic Friends
The thing about dealing with toxic friends, is that sometimes you can’t really tell whether they’re toxic or not, because you just love them too much to let go. You should always remember to be kind to others, and most importantly, to be kind to yourself too. Toxic friends can make you feel drained, uncomfortable and even stressed out. Because you shouldn’t let anyone wear you out this way, here are some tips on how to deal with toxic friends. More importantly, check out the signs that really show if you’re having lots of toxic friends around you.
How to recognize a toxic friend?
- There’s a type of friend who thrives on gossiping, talking behind people’s backs and following scandals and people’s matters.
- The friend who is fake around other people would probably be fake around you. This kind of friend is probably the most toxic and dangerous type of all of them. It’s kind of deceiving, because you might want to analyze certain situations in order to figure out whether they’re bad for you or not.
- The person who only calls you when they’re in trouble. They only call you when something is wrong with their life and completely treats you as a therapist. Being there for someone is definitely a good thing, however, if they only call you at bad times, then they’re definitely doing nothing but using you.
- The person who is there for you only at your good times, at the times of need they’re not there.
- There’s also the toxic friend who spreads negativity wherever they go. They can always spot a negative thing about whatever you’re doing, wearing or even working on. The worst thing about them, is that they constantly let you down and sometimes make you feel bad about yourself. You definitely don’t need a friend who pulls you down all the time.
- You might think jealousy only applies between boyfriends and girlfriends, but unfortunately it can happen between friends too. You will usually find them more self-centered as they fight over silly things. They might get jealous of new people around you or even existing ones.
- My way or the high way! There are friends who are really controlling to the extent that they don’t even listen to what you have to say. All they know is what’s on their minds, and if anything else happens other than that plan, then you’re in hell. They might even want to impose their opinions on you, and just reject and disagree with the things you want, just because it’s not their way.
How to deal with a toxic friend?
It’s definitely heartbreaking to lose a friend who has been in your life, but at some point, toxic friends turn to be no fun, that you just have to let them go, because they wear you out.
1. At first, you might need to have a decent talk with them to express your feelings and let everything out of your system. Consider that no one likes to hear negative things about themselves, so you need to tell them politely what’s been going on. If they become defensive or blame it all on you, you need to have patience and try to clear out the problem once more.
2. If having a talk or a discussion didn’t work, then it’s time to try another strategy. Sometimes setting boundaries or saying no can quite work out. You may need to stop picking up the phone every time they call you, or you might want to be a bit honest, for example, respond like “I’ve been hearing the same things from you. I just had enough.” It may seem shocking to them, so don’t expect good results at first.
3. If you tried all the above and you think you put your heart and soul to make things work out, yet they didn’t, then slowly drift away. Drift away because you need to trust your instincts and let go of the negative vibes. Try to keep yourself always busy with your good and real friends, and focus on your true friendships.
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