September 29, 2020 01:45 PM | by Jasmine Kamal
Single in Your 40s: How We View Love, Dating and Relationships
Last time we talked about how married women view love and relationships at the age of 40, the problems they face and how they overcome them. Today, we direct our conversation to being single in your 40s and what you look for in relationships in your 40s. Here's how single women view love, romance and relationships at this age…
Remember always that age is just a number, and that love is not limited to any specific age. Getting into romantic relationships or marriage is not limited to your 20s and 30s only. It can happen at any time and at any age. It just depends on your willingness to take this step and find the right person.
Love, relationships and dating your 40s:
1. Being afraid of falling in love
We grew up seeing representations of new love and romance only at a young age. As we get older that stigma makes us feel shame and we shy away from getting into new relationships, despite wanting the presence of a partner in our life. Some can believe that since things haven’t worked out in the past, whether it’s a marriage or small relationships or even none at all, that this dictates how things should be for the rest of their life. Which is of course not true. It has nothing to do with age and more to do with giving yourself a chance and ignoring what people are saying or any judgments you hear.
2. We value relationships more than ever
Although some might fear falling in love, when it happens they appreciate it very much. In their 40s, they will have gone through a lot from general experiences to, sometimes, relationships that taught them a lot and showed them what they really want in a partner. They are no longer at the stage where they go into relationships, ignoring red flags or with some doubts. They see relationships as important and they respect their time.
3. Looking for a partner more than a lover
For some there is a difference between a lover and a partner. You can love someone but have them not be your partner, because sometimes love is unfortunately not enough. A partner is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. You share with them the smallest details and they become a mixture between your lover, your best friend, your spouse and family. So, in your 40s you start wanting not just romance but also important actions.
4. Stability, and then even more stability
How you choose your partner can change a lot in your 40s. In the past, you could have chosen a partner who is slightly different from you, or perhaps slightly incompatible with certain complications, believing that things could change and become better as time goes by, which does happen a lot. But for some people in their 40s, they look for something easy, comfortable and familiar, they might not want to waste time or take as many risks.
5. Marriage for the sake of having children
In our forties, we feel divided sometimes, between our desire for the perfect partner for life and another strong desire for being a mom. Sometimes we give up on the idea of a great love and ideal partner, but settle to have kids as soon as possible. Of course, there is no shame in that, each of us has different priorities from the other. If being a mother is your dream and priority do what’s right for you, as long as you’re not sacrificing your happiness.
6. Relationships and your happiness are not 2 separate things
In our twenties we spend a lot of time fighting and arguing over small things and big things. We spend a lot of nights crying and relationships can really affect our happiness. When we grow up we start to realize that life is too short and that we want to enjoy our time together as much as possible. We start to spend less time on the trivial arguments and try to keep our life together happy and calm.
Main Image Credits: Instagram @Shauna
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