first of all, let me say I'm happy that lucy is back
and forgive me because my story is a little bit long
10 years ago I found out that my father cheated on mom, mom knew, my sisters knew, it was heartbreaking for all of us
I was a teenager back then, helpless, broken, and mostly shocked
mom got really sick and I had to stay with her in another country to look after her
she got better after a few year, but she never forgot, neither did i
it took me 3 years to be able to love my father again
don't get me wrong, I love my father, but I hated what he did
I swore to myself I will never let a man hurt me the way he hurt mom
back then I was in love with a classmate that I didn't even talk to, I was very shy
but then I found out that he is in love with my friend
a year later I went to college, had a bad relationship for a while, then he broke up with me
until he came, MR X, with his charming, care, beautiful word, and the things he do to make me happy
and I was happy, for a while
I was happy till I had depression
I didn't understand what was wrong with me, why am I so sad and angry all the time!
I searched here and there till I knew that this was depression
I was in love but I wasn't able to communicate
I was in love but I was afraid, what if he turned out to be like my father?
one day I wrote something about a friend of main, someone that I really appreciate as a friend and only as a friend
MR X read it and thought that I'm cheating on him!
ME ! after what my father did !! (which btw my x doesn't know anything about )
my x's reaction was very childish
he blocked me on social media! yup
he ended two years relationship with a button!
as if I was nothing!
as if he never told me that he loved me for 11 years before that!
I tried to talk to him, I tried everything I can
but he wouldn't listen
he hung up on me !
after I finally trusted a man, he broke up with me like this!
then I stopped
I kept myself busy, took some classes, went to the gym, drowned myself in my sister's wedding planning
it's been 18 months since he broke up with me
I'm a little bit fine, a little bit over him
but I'm still hurt, I never got the chance to defend myself
I'm not a bad person
I'm not what he thought I did
I'm hurt by my father, by him, by depression
and no one seems to understand
I keep hearing the same words from mom, my sisters, my friends, and it doesn't make me feel any better
the feeling of being replaceable, unwanted is almost indescribable
I wrote to you not asking for advice or anything
I needed someone to tell my story to
thank you for taking the time to read it