April 17, 2021 01:59 PM | by The Fustany Team
"ولاد ناس" Series: How to Protect Your Teenagers from Porn Sites
“I caught my 13 year old watching porn," a common issue a lot of parents face nowadays, especially with all the access one has to internet. We just want to state, an issue like this, doesn’t reflect at all on the parents and their parenting skills. Which is why, we were very proud to see one of the Ramadan 2021 series shed light on such an important topic. It’s not a discussion we should shy away from, the fact is, it’s an ongoing issue a lot of parents deal with. The Ramadan series "ولاد ناس" showcased a scene in the very first episode, where the father walks in on his 13 year old son watching porn, and his reaction was hitting his son, and grounding him, and fighting and blaming his mother.
The thing is, the father’s reaction is very common among parents. More importantly, taking your kids phone away is no longer a pro-active method, as the his friend in the show played by Ahmed Wafiq points out. Which got us questioning, how can parents protect their kids from porn sites? Should the reaction be different between a daughter and a son? So, we decided to reach out to a specialist and seek all the answers for all these confusing questions.
We spoke with Dr. Hala Hammad, a psychiatrist for children and family relations, about the issue of teenagers watching pornography and how to deal with the them. Dr. Hammad stared off by telling us, that the father’s reaction was fuled by the fact that he felt he failed as a father in raising his child. His reaction was violent, and most importantly it does not solve the problem, if anything it made it worse.
Make sure to check out our article: How to Talk to Your Kids About Sexual Harassment
So, how should a parent behave with their teenage son/ daughter if they found out they are watching porn? How do they protect them from it? According to Dr. Hala Hammad, the solution lies in confrontation, then dialogue and discussion. She emphasized that the matter must start with confrontation, then pass through several stages and steps:
1.The father or mother has to confront their kid. They should tell him/her how they felt catching their kid in the act, and emphasize how they have abused their trust. It’s important to address the issue of trust, so the son/daughter could understand the severity of losing something as important as their parents trust.
2. The parents should present a united front for the kids. Blaming one another is not the answer to the solution, they need to focus on the problem.
3. Open and honest conversation is important. Talk to your son/daughter about the negative impact of watching porn has on them.
4. Taking away the phone or computer is not the answer. The thing about teenagers, if you take something away from them, or prevent them something, they’ll only find another way to get access. If the parents feel the need to take some kind of action, consider adding some censorship to the internet use.
5 .Try getting closer to your son/daughter and understand why they resorted to watching these films. Is it just curiosity? Did they hear it from their friends? Understanding the reason, will help the parent talk to their kids about the issue.
The father always believes that the mother is responsible for raising the children. How true is this statement?
Dr. Hammad emphasized that such a statement is completely wrong, and if the father thinks that his role is only spending, then why marry and have kids. Children need to be raised by both parents.
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