February 21, 2018 12:00 AM | by The Fustany Team
Pacinthe Badran Tells Us How She Left Her Baby Boy for 3 Weeks, and Didn't Regret It!
My name is Pacinthe Badran, I'm a fashion designer, a stylist, and a blogger. I just turned 30, and I have a two-year-old boy. And as shocking as this may sound, or impossible for some or most moms, but I left my baby boy for three weeks.
When I launched my first Prêt-à-Couture collection at Cairo Fashion Festival, I won a scholarship in London for the best designer award that season; you don't get an opportunity like that every day, right? Then it hit me, I am going to stay for three long weeks away from my baby! Well, I kind of travel a lot, and I do travel without him sometimes, it's something I trained myself to do from day one, to make our lives easier later on. But yet again, it was never for that long! Three weeks seemed like a long time, and he just turned two, and I became more attached to him than he is to me, because we just started to have that cool, and cute relationship together.
But I had also promised myself that having a baby will not slow me down nor stop me from doing what I love. As hard as it was, I took the decision to go. So, I got on the plane, and here I was in London, all by myself, no errands to run, no one to dress, no driving, feeding, playing nor putting my baby to sleep. I had the whole day to myself for three whole weeks. Sounds like a mom’s heaven right? Well, no. I might have been physically free, but emotionally, not really. I had a lump in my throat everywhere I went for every second of the day.
The mom guilt was unbearable, I couldn't enjoy myself nor London to the fullest. Don't get me wrong, I did have fun, but not compared to how fun it was when I studied in Milan before having him. So, I kept thinking about how much I became emotionally occupied, which made everything harder! That was kind of frustrating, I was missing him all the time, I was missing doing everything for him and with him. I kept feeling like I was supposed to be somewhere else than where I was.
He wouldn't talk to me unless I put on a funny filter!
The three weeks went by, and I came back to my baby boy, and he was doing much better than I was. Would I do it again? OH YEAH! Do I regret it any of it? HELL NO!
Moms' reactions, the spoken and unspoken reactions, those ''oh my God, how can your heart let you do such a thing", and the "good luck with that!'' looks, and of course, the awkward silence pushed me to want to do this even more! You can be good moms and pursue your dreams, all at the same time.
Yes, I did suffer, and yes I couldn't enjoy everything as I was supposed to. But I did have a great experience, in life and on my resume. I came back to my baby happier, full of energy, and mostly feeling proud of myself.
What I would like to tell moms that would like to pursue their dreams and careers, and are feeling that their babies are an obstacle or afraid of having ones because it will slow them down, they're WRONG. It really depends on how you look at it, and for me, I see it as a motivation. Yes, they do make things harder to be completely honest. But for us, women, aren't we already trained for that?
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