April 17, 2022 08:00 PM | by Salma Ihab
5 Surprising Ways You’re Belittling Your Partner
We always want our partners to be the best they can be when we're in a relationship, but here's where you might be going wrong: when you try to give your partner helpful advice, it may come out differently than you intended. Perhaps your tone was a little aggressive, or you brought it up at the wrong time. Even though you thought you were helping your partner, your innocent intentions take a troll on you and turn into belittling your partner. If you are wondering, what is this? We will talk about it all right here and I will help you avoid falling into the same trap in the future. So, to keep you from falling into the same trap, here are some 5 surprising ways you're belittling your partner.
Let’s Take a Look at What You Should Avoid Doing in Order To Avoid Belittling Your Partner:
1. Questioning Every Decision They Make
We all know that communication is very important in a relationship, and you are supposed to talk about everything with each other, but the trap comes when you start questioning everything they do! You must believe that your partner is an adult capable of handling things on his own.
If you're thinking, "No way, I don't do that," here's an example: "What are you wearing? This does not look good on you". You can say, "Do you have any other options?" In the first one, you questioned their decision and made them question themselves, whereas in the second one, you were subtly helping them. It's all about how you phrase things and how much you trust them!
2. You Are Constantly Correcting Your Partner
A small reminder: you are not their mother; you are their partner. So, whenever you feel the urge to correct them on something, hold that thought and think about it. Consider it in a different light: how would you react if you were in their shoes?
If you're wondering, "How am I belittling them like that?" Let me give you an example: if a loved one mispronounces something, you will be quick to correct them and say, "This is not how you say it!" After all, we are all different and most of us mispronounce things from time to time, so instead of correcting your partner and becoming annoying and belittling them. You could simply ignore it.
3. The Comparison Game
This is a trap that is difficult to escape from once you've fallen into it. Comparison, in my opinion, is the thief of joy. Comparing your partner to a previous relationship or a friend's partner is a joy killer and belittles them.
If you're thinking, "It's hard not to," know that you're not alone and that it doesn't mean you're unhappy with your current partner. However, you must consider it from their point of view; while you may have good intentions, comparing your partner to other people can significantly lower their self-esteem and make them appear as if they aren't good enough for you as a partner, which is obviously not the message you want to send to your lover.
4. Not Letting Them Finish Their Sentence
This is a question for you to answer in order to determine whether or not you are belittling your partner. Do you allow your partner to speak freely, without interfering in any way? If you don't, consider yourself belittling your lover.
Your interruption sends the wrong message that you don't respect or value what they have to say, which we all know is not your intention. How are you going to solve this issue? Allow them to speak without interfering with the conversation or the story they are attempting to tell you. When they start talking, be the listener.
5. Not Respecting Their Goals
When you get into a relationship, you realize that you and your partner may have the same goal as well as individual goals, and as a loving and supportive partner, you should always support them, even if they tell you they want to go to space. When you start questioning them, you are belittling their goals and dreams, which will have an effect on them.
This is something to keep in mind the next time they talk about their hopes and dreams, so that you can be supportive rather than discouraging. Remember that each of us is on a unique journey, and you must respect their journey, even if it is a difficult one; they will arrive at their destination at their own pace. If you notice your partner struggling to get started, or if they are aware of their purpose or anything related to their goal, give them space and be as supportive as possible to prevent them from feeling belittled.
My Final Piece of Advice to You
Before you say or take any action related to your partner, put yourself in their shoes and consider whether you would be okay if they did this to you or if you would feel belittled by their action. If you feel belittled as a result of this action, do not proceed. Last but not least, talk to them gently about whatever is bothering you, but remember to keep it between you two and not around others.
Main Image Credits: Pinterest
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