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| by The Fustany Team

Don't Feel Guilty If You Have a Sex Dream About Someone Else...

Sex dreams. A confusing, disturbing and occasionally occurring event in our 8 hours of daily rest. Sex dreams can be divided into 3 types: The one with someone you shouldn't be sleeping with, the one with your partner/crush/celebrity crush and the one with a mystery person with no features (Yes. I know. We've all had them)

It is safe to say that the one that gains more concern and has people rummaging through Google for help is type 1. Be it this person is a friend, a coworker or a random person you don't know well enough to dream about in that way. But it is especially problematic for people when they are in relationships and dream about having sex with someone that is not their partner, so this is the one we'll be focusing on today. 

The truth is. Wether you've been acquainted with sex dream type 1, 2 or 3, you really must know that...We've all been there and almost everyone has them. Now, you can take a breath. It's not weird or disturbing, and there's nothing wrong with you. It is a completely normal thing for our subconscious to conjure abnormal dreams depicting things far off from who we are as people or what we do, even when it comes to sex.

“The common misconception about sex dreams is that they should be taken literally,” said Dr. Shannon Chavez to Man Repeller

If you're feeling guilty because you dream that you're cheating on your partner with someone else, it is important to know that the dream could mean something far off from being about sex. Most dreams are psychological and are driven from our state of mental health. Our subconscious likes to play around and display our deep buried feelings to us in an unfamiliar way that has us doubting ourselves and in this case our loyalty to our partners. 

I speak from my own experience here to tell you about a certain period of time where I dreamt about cheating on my partner and being with other men. I'm very happy in my relationship and haven't had the desire to cheat or be with anyone else. So you can imagine my shock and horror when I had those sex dreams over and over again. I ignored them the first and second time, but after they became more frequent, I started to freak out, feel incredibly guilty and started looking at myself and my relationship, questioning what was wrong with me. I even subtly asked him if he had ever dreamt about being with other women and he said he hadn't, which made me feel worse. 

I looked to the internet for help and found an immense number of women talking about this and sharing their stories of going through the exact same thing. They all mentioned how they never actually wanted to cheat but these sex dreams kept coming up. I came across one person saying she interpreted her dream being about guilt and that was when it hit me. 

What I forgot to notice in the beginning, which turned out to be crucial, was that I would feel incredibly guilty in the dream and would try to find my partner to admit to him and apologize. After further research I found that a lot of people analyze cheating sex dreams to be about self guilt. It all started to come together because at that point in my life I was dealing with a lot of guilt, be it with my partner or elsewhere. But what was incredibly important was that it had absolutely nothing to do with sex! Sex was just the image that my subconscious chose to display these deep and immense feelings of guilt I was feeling. 

So, what I would really recommend is talking to your partner about it. You have nothing to hide because you didn't do anything wrong and you didn't actually cheat. Talking to him about it will make you feel better about the whole thing, especially if it's associated with any relationship problems or guilt. You could even find out that he has had sex dreams as well and didn't want to tell you about them, afraid of your reaction. And if he doesn't react well and makes you feel guilty about them, well... this just says more about him than it does about you and your dreams. 

Main Image Credits:  Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash


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Tags: Cheating  Relationship advice  Relationship tips  Relationships  Dreams  Sex  Sex life  Love  Relationship problems