September 13, 2018 04:46 PM | by Salma Khattab
How to Be Your Bestie's Fairy Godmother Through a Harsh Breakup
Buying your best friend her beloved Ferrero Rocher and her favorite candies can be a temporary solution to overcome a heartbreaking breakup. At the end of the day, she will remember her pain once she puts her head on the pillow at night or right after she finishes the last lick of Nutella!
Yes, breakups do feel damaging, but with a support system, one starts to see the beauty coming out of the crack! Watching someone with a heart ache is in itself heart-aching! In order to give them a real helping hand, you need to start considering solutions that will push their spirit up for the long term not just for a night or two.
However, if you think you've already done everything but your bestie is not getting any better, just think again. I bet you didn't try these ideas yet. Check them out & thank me later!
1. Remind her that Meghan Markle's breakup is why she is now married to, literally, prince charming ...AKA Harry
That's true! Let your best friend imagine Meghan Markle holding on to her first marriage knowing it won't work out. She would have lived unhappily and would have never witnessed such a major life changing turning point, making her the duchess of Sussex today! I'm not saying you should convince your bestie that she will be the next new member of the royal family, what I do mean is that endings are always, always the start of new beginnings. It may sound cliche, but truly this is a fact.
2. Be her psychiatrist or recommend one for her.
Listen, listen and just listen. She will need to pour out all her thoughts but will feel a bit insecure from being judged or misunderstood. Offer a non-judging ear; it doesn't matter if you comment or advise as much as it matters that she finds someone who is willing to listen and not get bored of the stories she might repeat over and over. If you think it's too hard not to confront her with some truths, or her mental health is starting to affect her life deeply, don't hesitate to suggest to her getting a professional helping hand. Recommend a highly-rated therapist and ensure to her that there is no shame in seeking help.
3. Remind her of old faces or introduce her to new ones.
Being in a relationship always takes a great portion of our time and effort. We probably forget to keep in touch with old friends, and we rarely get to know new people, apart from the ex's and our own circle of friends. If your best friend's old friends remind her of her ex, try and take her out for some new faces to refresh her mood and recall the fact that there are a lot people out there. But, if she had old companions that she didn't pay attention to or keep in touch with because of her boyfriend/fiance/etc, convince her to meet with them again and catch up. This will remind her of the good old days and of how she was able to be happy before the appearance of that specific person in her life.
4. Show her the world.
This doesn't necessarily mean you should book her the next flight to Paris or Rome. However, if you could do so, don't hesitate! Advise her to travel solo at least once in her life. Offer to join her if she's afraid to do it, and tell her how much traveling nourishes the soul and refreshes the spirit, even if it's a few miles away. If traveling is not an option, then do silly stuff together, take her on a sushi date and film her while she tries it for the first time! Engage her in sleepovers and night-outs, or even ask for her help in your own personal problems so that she could focus on other stuff and forget about her own struggles.
5. Let her recall her achievements and help her achieve more.
Remind her of the things she achieved, even if you think they were trivial. These achievements don't have to be work-related. You may tell her how important she is to you and to everyone around her. Shed some light on the things you love about her, share some old memories of you together. The break up phase tends to weaken one's self-confidence, that's why it's so crucial to magnify things that boosts her self-esteem in that period. That could be done by reminding a heartbroken person of things they used to be enthusiastic about and so forth.
6. Recall her talents, hobbies & passions.
Bring up how amazing she was, singing in your school party, or show her a painting she did 10 years ago. Encourage her to get back to the hobbies she'd been forgetting about. Get her the tools and make her start over. Bring her a new book or surprise her with a canvas, brushes and oil colors! Wipe the dust off her camera, and tell her to get back to the photography she used to love! Search for what she might spark her passion and let her do it..
It's important to start from the inside, however, a new look won't harm! On the contrary, changing a haircut or dip-dying your hair definitely contributes to mood-changing. We can never deny that change comes from within, but looks also count for making one's soul show and shine. That's why, it's so useful to take your bestie to a pampering session in a beauty salon or a shopping tour to turn her style upside down!
8. Tell her that its actually her celebrity crush's time.
Tell her this story:
"A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke. Everybody laughed like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the same joke again, and a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same joke again and again. When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said: "When you can't laugh at the same joke again and again, then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?" To come up with a formula for life: Laugh when you can and cry when you must."
Draw your friend's attention towards the fact that their breakup creates a fresh start and a brand new chance for her to re-choose the guy of her dreams! No matter how much she loved her ex-partner, she probably would secretly wish, she could change some things about him: make him fitter or taller. Tell her how lucky she is to be offered a new opportunity to pick a guy that looks more like the celebrity she always used to crush on. On a more serious note, tell her how lucky she is to have the opportunity to find someone who will love, respect and hold her dearly. If you find her so stubborn, just remind her of when she was deprived from wearing heels because if she did, she would've looked taller than him! Inform her that men form over 3.5 billion of the world's population, and she has countless chances to start over so there is no point in crying over the same guy and wasting her time!
Main Image Credits: Instagram @ali_and_ariel
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