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Lifestyle Header image fustany lifestyle love and relationships heart and mind do opposites really attract my experience

| by The Fustany Team

'Opposites Attract' Does It Work or Not? I'll Tell You from My Own Experience

NOTE: First of all this is not in anyway meant to stereotype men and women. I've known and seen a lot of relationships were the personalities and behaviors were completely reversed. 

When I first got together with my partner, things were easy and simple, you know the honeymoon phase. Everything looks wonderful and bubbly. I remember we didn't have any arguments or fights up until 3 months into the relationship. Like the naive unrealistic people we were, we used to say "wow, are we going to stay like this all the time?" "omg, are we seriously that compatible and understanding?!" and then BOOM. 

The fights started hitting like a waterfall and here's what I learnt about a relationship that is 50% sensitive and 50% rational... 

Him and I are completely different when it comes to dealing with situations or thinking about, well, anything. I think with my heart and he thinks with his mind and let me tell you we're both the extremes of each trait. I'm too sensitive and emotional and he's too rational and logical. 

I would say, for me the best thing about being so different is that he calms me down. Being the emotional and sensitive half of the relationship, I don't think I would've been able to be with someone who is like me in that sense. He, however, knows how to ground my emotions and get me right back on track with reality. 

I did the same for him. Emotions are not something he's comfortable with and in our relationship he learned how to let them out especially because he's with someone that is already an extreme of the case. 

But when it came to fights and arguments, it gets really hard to be able to understand where the other person is coming from or quite literally how they're thinking. 

What we both try to do is to transform our thinking process to the other person. We need to constantly remind ourselves that the other person isn't seeing the situation like you are. What would you do if your first instinct was to think with your heart and not your mind? How would you feel? Of course, all this thinking is hard when you're in the middle of an argument and already so angry at the other person.

We found however that the most successful thing that really helps resolve issues and that helped us get rid of future ones is communicating. After the fight is over, we'd both calm down and we'd go back to being all cute with each other. We sit together in person or over the phone and talk about happened. "Why did you say this?" "What hurt you when I said that?" "What were you thinking at that point?" 

Communicating and asking each other these questions really helps us, understand the person furthermore and make sense of how they analyze and see situations. For the most part, our differences are what make us stronger and love each other deeply. Despite being different we connect with others on another level and the day to day flows smoothly. 

All in all, I wouldn't have it any other way. I think in our case opposites really do attract and we both needed the balance between heart and mind. As for the fights, well they get better...occasionally. 


Main Image Credits: Instagram @karenwazenb

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