November 04, 2020 05:20 PM | by Mai Atef
After Watching Nimra Itnein: Should Cheating Be Given a Second Chance?
There have been a lot of movie and television dramas that have discussed cheating and presented it in more than one way. But today, after watching the series Nimira Itein and the story or episode The Other Thing, it showed us a different perspective from what we're used to. The narrator here in the character Sherif, played by Amr Youssef who cheats on his wife, Ola, Noha Abdin, with Dana, Saba Mubarak, with whom he finds an escape, freedom and the happiness he was looking for. Especially since he had a lot of issues with his marriage, and despite not wanting to ruin his marriage or cheat on his wife, he ends up doing that.
After trying to confront the wife with ther relationship problems, he decides to end the marriage and pursue love with Dana. However, he soon finds he cannot continue the relationship and breaks it off as well. After finishing the episode you find yourself left with many questions...Will Sherif go back to his wife? Will she give him a second chance? If the woman had been the one to have cheated, what would have happened then? Why do people cheat?
Second chances after cheating
We all deserve a second chance, but can you say the same thing when it comes to cheating? Should there be a second chance after cheating? In my opinion, it's an issue that is very relative. Is this something that's happened more than once, or is it the first time? Is the other person capable of forgiving? If one chooses to forgive the cheating, has the incident broken something in the relationship? Can things go back to the way they were?
When should a second chance be given after cheating?
Of course no one on earth can give an answer to this question. Every relationship and case is different and we cannot predict the consequences of our choices. There are, however, things that could help make things for some people. For example, there must be signs of remorse and attempts to try and heal the relationship and make it up to the other person. The other person needs to give themselves as much time as they need to think, without the influence of other people's opinions. What do they really want? How do they actually feel? It is important to also address whether either or both of them actually want to stay together.
After giving them a second chance ...How can you trust them to not cheat again?
Giving them a second chance could be a new fresh start for the couple. They could start working on the relationship and rebuild trust. It is, however, unimaginably difficult and cheating or mistakes could happen again. Therefore, it is important for both of them, especially the person who cheated, to be very cautious and conscious and work as hard they can to make sure the relationship resumes in a healthy way.
Why do people cheat?
A problematic question, because the 'why' here is entirely not the point. There are absolutely no justifications for cheating. It is a mistake and a choice and the person who cheated need to come to terms with that, despite any reasons they have or factors they say led to it, at the end of the day they made a mistake and there is no point in trying to justify it. The reasons could be helpful for the couple to try and work on the relationship and heal any issues, but not as a form of justification. If we try to look into things a little deeper and dissect the possible problems or distance that might have contributed to the act of cheating, none or some or one of the 7 points below might come up...
However, it is important to emphasize again that these are not excuses nor justifications. Every relationship has problems and no one is perfect. In an ideal scenario, and we do not live in an ideal world, the other person would talk to their partner first, if they feel unhappy or unsatisfied, because it is natural to look else where, but acting upon it or being unfaithful is a choice. It is not something anyone is forced to do because of any kind of reason.
There are many women and men who get comfortable after marriage, as they should, but lose sight of staying sexy and exciting to their partner. Of course a marriage's success should not be measured based on appearances, but a couple's sex life and finding the other person sexy is really important as well. That's why many people recommend that couples always give time for putting in the effort and dressing up for the other person and doing the things they find sexy and attractive.
2. Not setting time for each other
Distance can be created when the couple isn't spending quality time together to keep intimacy and an emotional connection, even if it's just watching TV or planning a short weekend trip every now and then. It can be really hard, because life gets overwhelming and busy, but if they can try and make sure they create time for just each other, it can help keep the relationship strong and interesting. Of course, in some cases, this can be present, but cheating incidents could still occur, so there is no rule.
After some time and years of being with the same person, it is natural for people to get bored. Which is why it's important to try to always break thee routine and find something interesting and new experiences to go through together. They don't have to be anything huge, just simple new habits or activities.
4. Too many problems
The presence of persistent problems between spouses is one of the factors that contribute to unhappiness and unfaithfulness. It could leave one person feeling enough of a justification to cheat, if something happens or they connect with someone else, rather than trying again to solve the problems. It is better for the couple to try and not leave any problems un-dealt with under the rug. Both can try to be open and willing as hard as they can to fix things intelligently and without hurting the other person or building resentment. Also they could try and not to let the problems consume their life. It is easier said than done, but they could make time for quiet, happy and quality time together, as much as they do for discussing the problems..
5. Craving newness
Boredom and craving newness is also common. Some people also fear the idea of just being with one person or the same person for the rest of their life.
6. Looking for happiness
Some people need to escape their daily life and find joy and a release in something different and completely separate from their reality. Others also might be very unhappy in their current relationship, which is very common and can happen to anyone. For some, it could lead to just leaving and breaking up, but for others they might cheat...
7. Needing some personal space
Some personal space can be very important and beneficial for some couples. It can be important to give each other the time and space to do things for themselves, alone or with their own friends.
Different types of cheating and how it could correlate to second chances
The type of cheating or difference in situation could have to do with the other person's willingness to forgive. For example, there are some people who can forgive physical cheating, if no feelings were involved. Others disagree and say the would forgive the opposite and some wouldn't forgive either, while others can forgive both. And no one can say who's right or who isn't, they all have the right to make whatever choice they feel comfortable with.
That's when the affair or relationship has a deep emotional connection or feelings are involved, it's not just physical or pursued just because of physical attraction. Emotions are playing a strong part.
This usually involves sex, any physical act of intimacy, or the affair and relationship is mainly driven by a physical attraction and not an emotional one, and feelings are not involved.
Why is cheating not easily admitted?
Finding it hard to admit to cheating is common and it makes sense. There are a lot of reasons that contribute to denial or keeping it hidden, all of which differ depending on the person. Some of the reasons could be...
1. Fear of losing stability, comfort, or breaking up a family, especially if children are involved.
2. Fear of how family, friends, their partner and people in general will see them and look at them differently.
3. Finding difficult to accept or admit to what happened.
4. Fear of confrontation.
5. Not wanting to hurt the other person.
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it! Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section here.