March 27, 2021 10:15 AM | by Mai Atef
Why Divorced Moms Are Real Life Superheroes
Divorced mothers face many difficulties in their lives, not only because they hold a lot of responsibilities, but because society still judges them, and many have very toxic opinions about them, which can be extremely difficult to deal with. But the fact is that are so many divorced moms around us, from friends to family, and they don't deserve to be seen and treated as any less. They need to be appreciated and supported for their hard work and the difficulties they face.
1. Custody problems
Recently the hashtag #الولاية_حقي or 'custody is my right' has been all over social media. Custody is a massive problem that many divorced mothers struggle with, especially if the children are young. Many men believe that is in their power to unjustly take that right from women and demand custody of children, taking them or leaving them to their grandmother. Divorced mothers also find it difficult to open bank accounts for her children, and even during their education, she struggles with her right to handle their matters herself. All of these things are a problem just because she's divorced and the man is seen in society as the main person responsible.
2. A divorced mom living alone
Society also likes to have a say in how a divorced mother should lead her lifestyle. Living alone? Oh the horror... Until this day many divorced mothers are judged and talked about because they live alone with their children. It is 2021 and people still think that a woman living alone is 'inappropriate'. And yet she stands tall and powers through the talk, finger pointing and disturbing opinions.
I think it's safe to say that single moms are superhumans. They have the ability to work on a daily basis, succeed in their field of work, pay for their children's education and sometimes even hold full responsibility of all their expenses. All of this along side raising them, spoiling them, helping them study, taking them to after school sports activities, and trying to maintain a social life. Sound impossible? People still like to point out what she could do better, that's besides of course the dark side of social media, where moms feel guilty because they're constantly exposed to the image of 'a perfect mom', which we all know doesn't exist.
4. Try to maintain a good relationship between the children and father
One of the biggest problems moms face after divorce is trying to maintain a healthy relationship with the father. It can really difficult, but they often try as hard as they can so the children can have a good relationship with the father. This is hard for serval reasons. Of course the more obvious one is that she doesn't want to have to deal with or see the father. Then there's the fact that many women are blamed for the divorce. Yes, they are told that it is their fault and that they should've have worked harder on the marriage, especially for the children, which is very sad and disappointing, considering that a lot of moms choose divorce because they believe it is the right thing to do, not only for them, but also for the children!
5. Putting on a brave face
A woman is known for her unbelievable strength. Even if she feels pain, she can hide it, or power through it for the sake of her responsibilities and children. The truth is that she's not just putting on a brave face, she is that brave face. She's actually extremely strong, despite the pain and overwhelming emotions. In fact that very pain and those emotions are what make her incredibly strong. A fuel for her to heal and keep going. However, these moms still need a hug, a day off, time to process and should never be pressured to get their life together overnight.
6. Getting married again
A divorced mother faces so much criticism and judgments if she wants to get into a new relationship or get married again. Although it is completely her right, sometimes even her ex will stand in her way and use that as a reason to take custody of the children. And if she decides to stay single, people still judge her for living alone, with comments like...she needs to have a man to 'protect' her and take care of her. I know, ridiculous.
7. Endless love and support for her children
A mother by nature has the strength to provide endless support and strength to her children, and this power sometimes even multiplies she's single. She depends on her self to be their backbone and rock, so she gives them everything she can from love and support.
8. The woman is the reason for separation
Marriage is a partnership between two people, and it is normal for things to not work out, but it is not normal for the woman to always be blamed to the failure of the relationship. For example, even if he cheated, she is told that she should have forgiven him for the sake of their family. She has the right to choose to leave or stay in the relationship. She does not need to justify or explain her choices.
Society and people will not stop criticizing women. And they think that taking away her rights will be easy and will force her to give up, but the fact is...she is a lot stronger than they think. History, time and the women around us have proved that over and over again.
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it! Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section here.