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| by The Fustany Team

Why Does Your Husband Still Watch Porn?

"Why do men watch porn?" This question has been repeated a lot during my conversations with a lot of women, especially wives. The question comes from a place of feeling hatred, cheated and responsible along with the promises from him "I won't watch porn again from now on". He continues to watch and her frustration and anger doesn't stop, without stopping to think why men enjoy watching porn?

I'm going to focus in this article on men, since the percentage of women who watch porn is much lower than men, women's percentage is around 3%. Even after reading a lot of studies, articles and taking the professional views on the matter, I still couldn't manage to find a concrete, universal answer to the question.

Everything I read was either very neutral, treating the issue like a very normal thing, simply helping women in a civil healthy way in dealing and talking to her husband or the complete opposite, treating it like habit that he needs to stop before it becomes an addiction. I couldn't find a place in the middle that would help answer your concerns, except these answers below to the reasons why men develop the habit of watching porn or more accurately enjoy watching porn.

After reading about the topic and hearing from experts, I've come to these conclusions:

1. Change: It is natural that men think about sex a lot, or everyone thinks about sex a lot. Men could also be aroused by visuals more than women, women are more affected by sound and physical touch. That's why watching a variety of porn films with different types of scenes and actors, gets them excited and turned on. It offers them a sense of change and that doesn't mean at all that they don't love their wives or aren't satisfied with sex anymore. It just means they're looking for something different that has nothing to do with their personal relationship at all.

2. Easiness: "You were tired" is an answer often given to women when they find their man watching porn, resulting in them feeling guilty. Women shouldn't put the blame on themselves. In some cases porn is an easy way instead of cheating when he feels the need to release sexual energy, especially if they don't live in the same country or he's under a lot of stress.

3. The unrealistic woman complex: He sometimes wants to live in a fantasy with an unrealistic overly flirty and playful woman. Even when the his wife is willing to experiment, try new things and puts effort into their sex life, it's still sometime different for him because he wants to be more reckless and to let loose with something from a figment of his imagination.

4. Stress: If the husband doesn't talk or voice his concerns or stress about work, it doesn't mean the stress doesn't exist. He could be stressed about financial problems and making sure everything is stable for the family, this can be one of the reasons we wants to have an outlet to release the constant mental strain without any physical effort.

5. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you:

We can't deny that sometimes women have a role in making their husband shy away from having sex with them, and watching porn would be the easier way for him, but we shouldn't always put the blame on women because in lots of instances women complain from their husbands not giving them enough attention even when they do everything they can. This stems from his desire to be locked in his own world, where he has full control and the quick sense of euphoria that doesn't need any time or effort.

Negative effects of watching porn and the fear that comes with it:

Some negative effects are in the place where it could start affecting the mind and body enough to create an addiction which automatically affect the life partner. Psychology professor Dr. Paul J. Wright highlighted to the New York post that one of the greatest fear people have when it comes to porn is being addicted to it. The repetition signals it gives to the brain that this is an easy, instant satisfaction which could be the drive behind addiction. 

The main factor is not the addiction but the reflection on the characters affecting the way he can potentially perceive his wife. Watching too many of these unrealistic videos, feeds his mind and fantasies and he becomes so used to a certain perception of women and sex that he can't differentiate between reality and fiction to the point where he could actually require the same things that he watches in porn from his wife, no matter how unrealistic. This put her in a state of comparison which makes him change his view of her and creates a huge gap in the relationship and sex life

Dr. Wright said watching porn every once in a while or once a week is no indication of an addiction because a porn addict has certain behaviors that different from the regular user and watcher, like repeatedly watching it more than once a day and even resulting in him having a low sex drive when it comes to intimacy with his partner. These symptoms along with other red flags are a cause for concern and needing consultation.

He also emphasised it doesn't have any negative effects if its not overused and is not reflected on the life partner. Sometimes men dodge the question whenever his wife asks him if he's still watching porn, not out of fear but because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings and talk about what's morally correct. Women feel betrayed and cheated when they find out and the bottom line is you need to ask yourself does it -negative effect your mental state, does he neglect you? Do you feel that he compared you to them. Ask yourselves these questions and answer truthfully so you can find a conclusion before going into a debate and considering consultation.


Main Image Credits: The film Don Jon

Dr. Paul J. Wright Information Credits: New York Post


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