Jasmine Kamal 
Most of us have been on the roller coaster of falling in love at some point in our lives; yes, it is a roller coaster with ups and downs, and that is normal. There is no rule that says you should be in love when you reach a certain age; actually, falling in love has no rule; it just happens when it happens. Falling in love for the first time at the age of thirty is unlike any other stage of life. I can assure you that reality is nothing like the romantic novels you've read. So we decided to talk to you today about falling in love in your thirties, what it is and how you will feel, and most importantly why.
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Why is falling in love for the first time at the age of thirty different from any other stage?
I like to compare falling in love to being in the sea: one minute you're chilling, the next a big wave comes and flips you over, and you try to figure out what the hell just happened. That's exactly what love is: it comes unexpectedly, like an unwelcome guest who you later enjoy their company. Falling in love for the first time in your 30s is like being in the sea and having a first encounter with a wave for the first time and not knowing how to deal with it. You're not alone, girl; there's a lot of us out there.
Our needs and wants change as we get older, which is a normal part of life. In your teens, all you wanted was someone to go to the movies and birthday parties with, but in your 20s, you matured a little and changed your mind about wanting someone to travel with and having a plus one, when it comes to all the weddings and engagements you get invited to. In your 30s, you still want all of the above, but they aren't as important as what you want now. You're most probably looking for a partner. You start to think about your future more, such as, is he the partner I'd spend my life with, or is he just a fling? Is he eligible to be the father of my children? Or is he a child looking for someone to look after him?
In your 30s, you've got to a point in life, where you know what you want emotionally and what to expect from a relationship, even if it's your first time falling in love. We can't deny that love is wonderful and beautiful, but it's not everything we want in our lives. We want a partner who will always be there for us, not just a "lover" who will bring you flowers when you're down; we want someone who will listen to us and be there for us, we want a team mate to continue building a future with. In your thirties, you are more aware of every step you take and your feelings, rather than just going with the flow.
So, what happens when you fall in love for the first time in your thirties?
Falling in love for the first time, regardless of your age, can be a very stressful experience. We are always lost in the beginning, and it's natural, you are experiencing something new that you have never done before. There will be some bumps along the road, but with the right person, hopefully things will go smoothly. Most of us overthink the situation at first, and these are a few thoughts that may pop into your mind if you are in your thirties and fall in love for the first time.
1. What do I look for in a partner?
Well, you've never been in love, but the thought of meeting your partner has probably crossed your mind a few times. And probably you've seen a few incidents from your friends who are in relationships and felt I'm not okay with that, for example, having a short temper kind of guy, or maybe you felt like, 'I want someone who would make me happy like that'. You start to wonder if you want a loving partner who will help around the house or someone who will always support you no matter what, and it's perfectly fine to think about it because you'll be sharing your life with them for better or worse.
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2. Fear of love in your thirties
I know that in our thirties, we have a bit of a fear of falling in love, especially for the first time; we overthink the whole idea of being in a relationship, and what if it fails? It's okay if it didn't work out because you learned something new about yourself while in this relationship, and you should stop worrying about your age, as cliche as it sounds. "Age is just a number," so don't let it define your life. Rather, enjoy the beauty of each stage. Entering a relationship expecting it to fail will ruin it! So it's fine if it didn't work out; no one will judge you, even if you're in your sixties. After all, girls just want to have fun.
3. Wanting to speed things up
When some women fall in love in their 30s, they feel as if they have entered a race and need to rush everything, such as "let's get married and start a family right away," but the reality is that you are not in a race and you need to take things slowly and get to know your partner more. You may feel pressure from those around you, and some may even say things like, "You're too old for this." "How long will you wait?" and other annoying phrases, but it's your life, not theirs, and it's perfectly fine to move at the pace that feels right for you, not them.
4- Not wanting to be in a relationship with someone of different age.
"Love has no age," such a simple phrase with such a deep meaning. You can fall in love at any age and with anyone younger or older than you. But, society will come along and ruin this for you, with all eyes on you, and you will hear things like "he's much younger than you and women age faster, are you sure you want to be with a younger man?" or seeing someone older than you, society assumes you have daddy issues, but you may be able to communicate with an older guy better than someone your own age. But, once again, it's your life, not theirs, and if you are happy with it, you should ignore what others say.
5- Giving up important things in order to keep the relationship
You must ignore the thought that "I'm old, I'll never find anyone and accept less." No, Gurl, you've waited a long time to fall in love, so it had better be worth it, and yes, take your time thinking about it, and what you're okay with and what you're not. And it saddens me to say that some women ignore major red flags in order to be in a relationship and believe they will never find love. Always remember that "the longer you wait, the hotter you date," so take your time and consider whether you are comfortable in certain situations.
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6- Giving up your personal space
Another fear that may arise is giving up your personal space; you've been alone for so long that you've become used to doing things a certain way or being entirely dependent on yourself and not others. Well, I can tell you that it's okay to let your guard down a little bit and make a small space in your life for the other person, and with baby steps , there's no right or wrong, and you don't have to rush it, it's all about what you're comfortable with.
Main Image Credits: Stay Close Travel Far
