December 09, 2015 12:00 AM | by Luci
Post #79: I Would Never Ask You to Do That for Me
Let me start by telling you how sorry I am for being so late to writing to you guys, but things were quite busy on my side, with planning the wedding and all. Yes, you heard it right, my wedding. When? January!
I had to go back and forth between Dubai and Cairo several times, and my boss is already pretty angry at me, which led to an argument between me and Faisal.
Faisal: Don’t you think you need to take some time off, instead of having to go through the hassle of traveling? Plus, I miss you, and I have to stay here most of the time.
Luci: I can’t take time off, I’ll lose my job, remember?
Faisal: So what?
Luci: What? How can you even say that? You know I can’t do that.
Faisal: Why not? You’d have to do it soon any way.
And then it hit me, we were so swamped up with the excitement of getting together, that we didn’t have proper time to discuss such crucial issues. Where are we going to live? Cairo or Dubai? What do we expect out of one another? And lots of other things…
I looked at him wondering how he would deal with this, would he be equally supportive of my career as I would be of his, or will I discover something new just now?
Faisal: What’s on your mind? Your face went all blank and I’m not sure what you’re thinking anymore.
Me: I was thinking about how my work would look like in the future.
Faisal: Well, I think this goes without saying, you’ll be coming back to Cairo, won’t you?
Me: And then?
Faisal: You could start off your own thing, you need something that’s a tad flexible, because I travel a lot, and you have to come with me. Maybe you could work with me. How about that?
Me: But it’s not my area of expertise, and I wouldn’t want us to be like these couples who are together at home and at work, it will just cause unnecessary problems, don’t you think?
Faisal: What other options do you have?
Me: There’s always the option of finding work in Cairo again, and just staying here whenever you’re on business trips. We don’t really have to go everywhere together.
Faisal: Well, that doesn’t work for me. Trust me on that, it used to cause problems with my ex-wife, may she rest in peace.
Me: I’ll have to think about that, but you have to know that I’m not happy with that option.
Faisal: I gave you many different options, but you’re not being flexible enough.
Anger was building inside of me. I thought there might be an argument, but him acting that way as if he’s being flexible, yet he’s not reasonable about it at all got me furious.
Later that day, I decided to take a walk to clear off my mind a bit and try to think things through properly. I walked for an hour until I reached one of my favorite ice-cream places, and the minute I walked in, I felt very sick in my stomach. You know that feeling you get when you see someone you were hoping to avoid for a long time.
Amr: I thought it was you!
Me: Oh hey! How are you Amr?
Amr: Why so serious? You know I had a feeling I was going to see you today?
Me: No no, not at all. It’s just that… Okay yeah, it’s weird.
Amr: You never replied to my message.
Me: I was going to.
Amr: No you weren’t.
Me: Okay, I was never going to hehehe
Amr: Let me buy you ice-cream and we can catch up for a bit.
Why? Why do I have to run into him now? I missed him a lot, that I can’t deny, but that doesn’t mean that I wanted that kind of drama back in my life.
Amr: So tell me, you’re really getting married?
Me: Yes, January.
Amr: Good for you. It’s funny how things work out, out of all the women I have dated, you were the only one I could see as my wife.
Me: Well, that didn’t work out and let’s not go there.
Amr: I wasn’t going there, I was just telling you that you were the only one who meant so much to me. Scratch that, still mean so much to me.
I smiled at him, not knowing how to respond to that.
Amr: And what else? Are you going to stay here or are you still going to be located in Dubai?
You know when someone asks the right question at the right time? When you just needed to empty your mind to a person you trust? That’s exactly what I did. I know it’s not right, but I was extremely angry at Faisal. Let’s blame such a stupid act on the hormones, shall we? So I could feel a bit more better about myself. It’s a typical cliche movie scene, where you run to your ex for answers. Anything else you want to add? Feel free to do it, because I kind of deserve it.
He listened closely and then replied with only one sentence: “You know, I would never ask you to give up your career for me.”
A moment of silence, I looked at him, again not knowing what to say.
Me: How is that about you?
Amr: You’re right, it’s about you. What I’m trying to say is that if someone truly loves you, and that’s why I referenced myself, will never ask you to ditch your career, nor friends nor any of your habits. You know why? Because they’re part of who you are, and telling you to do otherwise means he wants to change you and form you the way he likes it best. Let’s say you give up your career and move to back to Cairo, that’s already something positive done from your side. Asking you to travel around with him or work with him to have a flexible schedule doesn’t make sense. What if at some point something happens and you guys have to go separate ways? You would have thrown your career, and trust me it’s far harder by that time to get another good opportunity. Please Luci, don’t agree to that.
Part of me agreed with him 100%, but another part thought he was also very biased. I decided to just nod and agree with him.
Amr: I have to go, but I’ll be checking on you soon. Don’t ignore me this time and leave me looking like an idiot.
To that, I also smiled. On my way back, I kept on thinking about what he said and it did make a lot of sense. That’s when I texted Faisal, that we need to talk and the phone rang just a minute afterwards.
Faisal: What’s up? Did you think about it?
Me: First off, yes I thought about it, I’ll move back to Cairo, but I can’t work with you and I don’t feel like starting off my own thing just yet.
Faisal: So you’ll stay at home?
Me: No, I won’t.
Faisal: Listen, I gave you three options, pick one. It’s that simple!
Me: No it’s not! Stop being selfish, it’s honestly the first time I know you can be. Oh, and I also ran into Amr my ex, I wanted to let you know.
I didn’t say that in the best way, but because he annoyed me so much, I had to get back at him.
Faisal: Luci, you know what? I’m sure you didn’t just run into him. I’m not stupid. Anyway, I’m not in the mood to speak now. Let’s talk later.
Before I could even say a word, the phone call was over. How rude of him! I called him back to give him a piece of my mind, but his phone was off. I decided to text him, he had to know how angry I was at him: “So this is the way you’re going to solve disagreements between us? That’s really mature of you! And what you just did is unacceptable.”
I decided to ignore my phone for a while, in case he replied, to give myself some time to cool off. Four hours later, I check my phone and the message was still not delivered. Fine Faisal, have it your way…
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