Dina: C’mon Luci, people go through rough patches in their relationship.
Luci: This doesn’t feel like a rough patch though Dina. Lately things have just been weird and I’ve been feeling…
Dina: Feeling what?
Luci: I don’t know I’m just not invested in this relationship much anymore.
Dina: Luci, What are you trying to say?
Luci: I don’t know I just don’t feel..
Dina: Are you saying what I think you’re saying, do you want out of this relationship?
Luci: Ughhh I don’t know Dina. All I know is I’m just not very happy with this pregnancy, and with Faisal being over the moon, it’s just confusing. I know he knows things haven’t been that great with us lately and his reaction to me means he thinks a child can just fix everything.
Dina: Luci, I’m going to be honest, you tend to overthink and make the scenario a lot bigger than it is in your head.
Luci: I know that about myself Dina, but this isn’t one of my normal reactions. You know what’s bothering me the most about all this? Is that I never ever wanted to start a family like this. Where things are so shaky with my husband and putting the future of my marriage on a newborn baby. C’mon Dina, I saw you in those early days as a new mum. You weren’t doing so well, remember? You were going through postpartum depression, things with Ziad (Dina’s husband) were not the best, you guys were arguing all the time and at each others throats.
Dina: Yea I remember Luci, but that was just because I was exhausted and overwhelmed and I didn’t have much help from anyone after Mourad was born. My dad couldn’t help and Ziad’s mum doesn’t live near me at all, and all of you never had kids, so it was just me and him trying to figure this out.
Luci: I know that, but you and Ziad were actually doing really well before you gave birth, which is probably why you guys got through this. How are two people who barely have a relationship supposed to go through all what you went through and make it? It’s like this child is the beginning of my divorce.
Dina: Luci, you do realize it takes 9 months for this child to actually arrive right? A lot can happen in 9 months… You need to have a talk with Faisal, a long serious talk, and after that you need to sit with yourself and make a decision. You either decide to be happy, work on your marriage and try and lead a happy life with your future family or you decide you want out once and for all. But you have to keep the future of this child in all your thoughts. This whole limbo mode you're living in, with one foot out the door, is just not working... that is just no way to live.
Silence on the phone for about 2 whole minutes.
Luci: I’ll talk to Faisal.
Dina: Good, let me know how it goes.
My next post will be Saturday at 11:00 AM (Cairo time) and I'll be telling you more about how I'm dealing with Faisal and the baby/pregnancy.