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| by Luci

Mixed Feelings

Don’t you just hate them? Yes, I’m talking about mixed feelings! You’re either not sure which option to pick, what should you do now or where to head to next? Confusing I must say! This past week has been all about mixed feelings for me and I’ve decided to share with you some of them.

Giovanni (my Italian friend): Luci, how are you?

Me: Doing good. How about you?

Giovanni: Good good. So what are you going to do about the good news?

Me: What good news?

Giovanni: Haven’t you checked your email yet?

Me: Nope, I just woke up, had a crazy party last night with Dina.

Giovanni: This girl is bad news hahaha. I like that!

Me: Now what good news?

Giovanni: You got the job. The guy I know there called me and just told me they sent you the job offer because I asked him to keep me posted.

Me: Oh you did? Thanks, you’re awesome!

We talked a bit more and once I was done, I ran to my laptop to check out the email they sent me. WOW! It’s true, I got the job and the offer was just too much for me. Think six times my salary in my old company. A moment passed by and I kept on staring at the screen, waiting for things to make sense. Does this actually mean I’m moving to Dubai? Should I? Am I ready for this and is it what I really want? I had no clue whatsoever.

Giovanni texted me a bit later saying: “Now that I’m sure you saw it, this calls for celebration. Today, my treat! Bring your friends along if you’d like.”

Why not? You can never say no to some Italian eye candy, especially if he’s been quite helpful as well. I immediately thought of telling Dina and Joey to join us. I’m not sure what’s going on between these two, I feel like she’s into him, but he’s not the same page. Did I tell you guys I kind of think he’s cute too? I get that feeling every now and then, but immediately try to get it out of my head. First off, I wouldn’t do that to someone else, let alone Dina and second off, I’m not ready yet, but sometimes, just sometimes, you let these thoughts aside and go with the way your feelings flow.

A few hours passed by and I went out to meet my friends. What was supposed to be a fun outing, took a different quite “interesting” turn. It started with me receiving a text from Amr. I shook my head to make sure I saw the right name. What does he possibly have to say after more than a month going by and not knowing a single thing about him? I was nervous while opening the message…

“Your new company gave me a call as you had me in your references. Don’t worry, I gave them pretty good feedback about you, but don’t you think you’re making the wrong move here?”

Huh? What is he thinking sending me something like that? I’m not buying the “I have your best interest” game.

Dina: What’s wrong Luci?

I showed her the message and she was also puzzled, murmuring a few heavy swear words. I couldn’t help but laugh, this girl is crazy! Of course her swear words grabbed Joey and Giovanni’s attention, who didn’t understand much Arabic, yet was taught these words in specific.

Joey: Is everything ok?

Dina: Yeah, her jerk ex just texted her, but she’s not going to reply.

Giovanni: Amr?

Me: Yup.

Giovanni: Just ignore him. We’re here to have fun!

I’m officially promoting Giovanni as my favorite guy friend if I decide to move here. As for Joey, I’m still not able to crack his code. He’s nice, I do trust him, but I can’t seem to understand if he’s into Dina or not and for some reason that’s bugging me. Whenever I look over to see what he’s doing around her, I notice that he’s looking towards my direction and our eyes meet for a second.

Just as I was about to get into the right mood again, Dina asks me to go with her to the ladies room. I just followed her because she obviously had something to say.

Dina: This guy is driving me nuts.

Me: What did he do?

Dina: Mixed signals all the way.

Me: Did he do anything obvious? I mean it’s hard to tell if he’s sending out mixed signals or if you’re just over-thinking things.

Dina: You’re right.

Me: Don’t feel bad about it, but remember what you always used to tell me, not to waste my time on someone who doesn’t want me bad enough? Well, the same piece of advice applies to you.

Dina: You’re right, maybe he’s not that into me. I can live with that!

I hope she actually meant what she said and isn’t just putting her strong face on. Going back to our table, I couldn’t help but notice how Joey was smiling at me, or am I overthinking things as well?

Giovanni: Luci, did you decide if you’re going to take the job or go back to Cairo?

Me: Not yet, I have to think about it by tomorrow maximum.

Everyone kept on voicing their opinions, pros and cons trying to help me to reach a decision and at first it was more of a decision that I needed some change in my life, but after Joey leaned towards me and said: “Please take the job.”

Me: Why please? Why do you care?

Joey: Let’s just say, you’re super fun to be around.

One second, rewind or better yet STOP! I came here to start over (if I actually decide to continue here), but it seems like things are taking a very familiar turn for me. That’s when I discovered it is me who attracts that drama into my life. Could it be that I like it or just feel bored without it? I realized that changing my location isn’t really going to help, and as a matter of fact it’s me and only me who has control over it.

I texted Amr back telling him: “Thanks man for your concern, but I’m looking forward to working here.”




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