Fustany Talks: Is Neglect Really the Worst Form of Abuse?

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It’s women’s abuse prevention month and like every year we talk a lot about raising awareness of the types of abuse, how to defend yourself or even how to spot an abuser. But to be honest, there is a type of abuse that almost never gets discussed even though, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst ever! That is neglect, specifically from parents towards their children.

I’m pretty certain we all have been ignored at one point, and it for sure doesn’t feel good at all. But what if the person who ignored you isn’t just anyone but your own parents? Now that would really hurt, right? So, what happens if that was a lifestyle for you since you were young? It’s a lifelong scar that would alter your whole personality! If you think I’m exaggerating, believe me I’m not. Here’s why…

When we are young, our parents are practically our whole world, they’re the ones who take care of us, bring us food, teach us how to do things, show us where to go and how to act. So, when you find that ‘your whole world’ doesn’t really care about you, you feel small and maybe think you’re unworthy of their time and attention. You start doubting yourself and gradually your sense of self worth becomes smaller and smaller.

As an adult who lacks self confidence, you find yourself accepting others treating you badly, you don’t believe in your own voice and opinions. You seek the approval of others no matter what you do to get that approval. Which in turn, opens up more chances of being subjected to even more abuse.

I’ve seen this happen multiple times with my friends, where they don’t experience care and attention from their parents, so they accept people into their lives who are just abusing and taking advantage of them. That could be in the form of friends or lovers. They think they can keep their attention if they behave according to others and follow everything they ask for. They think if they mold themselves into the shape that others want them to be in, they will become worthy of that attention they desperately look for.

If you are asking why I think negligence is one of the worst types of abuse, or why it’s even called abuse, it’s because every time you refuse to pay attention to someone, it has the same exact effect on their mental state as punching them physically.

The problem is that parental negligence has become more and more common nowadays in the age of electronics, where everyone is just staring at their phones every free second they get instead of spending quality time with their kids. They don’t take time out of their schedule to sit, talk and play with them the good old fashioned way. Instead, they just give them a tablet or phone to watch videos and entertain themselves. They don’t even notice that what they are doing is negligence, and that it’s abusing their kids.

I hope that mothers and fathers understand how bad these actions affect their kids. I hope they turn off all technology from time to time and spend quality time with them. I hope they shower them with love and notice the little things with their children. It would make a huge difference and would make them much stable and balanced individuals.