August 27, 2018 01:07 PM | by The Fustany Team
A Guy Disapproves These Hints You Keep Trying to Send Your Crush
*A 26-year-old guy wanted every girl to understand the minds of some men in the dating world and here's what he has to say:
Guys are really oblivious whenever you show interest in them and women tend to drop very subtle hints that they’re interested. More than once, I have found out that a girl used to like me and I had absolutely no clue. A combination of obliviousness and subtlety is a recipe for missed connections and disappointment. We do not overthink or analyze situations like you do. We take things as they are and forget to connect the dots. So if a girl does something nice, we just think she's nice vs. looking at all the nice things she's done for us and thinking "Oh! She must be somewhat interested."
So, if you do any of the below subtle hints, please stop them right now, then upgrade to my recommendations that will follow.
1. You tease him or insult him jokingly, a lot.
We’re not in middle school anymore; if you’re teasing and insulting him constantly, he will most probably find you annoying or childish.
2. You take a long time to reply to his texts.
Despite the advice you get from your girl friends or from movies and TV, ignoring a guy and purposefully taking a long time to text him back will push him away, thinking you’re not really interested. Instead, if you like the guy text him back and show him you’re eager to talk to him.
3. You don’t acknowledge him or even look at him.
I blame Rom-Coms for this. Regardless of how you might think this will make him chase after you, in reality, he will again think you’re not interested. Guys look for clear signs you’re interested, so completely ignoring his existence is exactly the opposite of what you want.
4. You laugh at everything he says.
Although you might think this is you broadcasting your interest, it’s quite off-putting when you laugh at every other thing he says. Instead laugh at the funny things he says, and take the chance to touch his arm or shoulders, he will now know what makes you laugh and won’t just be lost.
5. You twirl your hair.
Unless he has Secret Service training or he’s a Human Behavior Specialist, he probably won’t pick up that you’re doing anything out of the ordinary.
6. You’re afraid to meet his eyes.
He’ll probably just think you’re shy. If you really want to show him you’re interested, maintaining eye contact is a sure way to do that.
7. Sexy Clothes.
Although wearing something sexy and figure flattering outfits might peak his interest in you, it's not really a sign you're interested in him. Unless you usually wear turtle necks and you only show off your cleavage when you're with him, he won't make the connection.
8. You are awkward in his presence.
This is very difficult to measure or pick up on. Unless you’re a complete goofball when he’s around, just being awkward around him is not a clear sign you’re interested, especially if he doesn't know you that well pre- the potential relationship.
9. You introduce him to your friends.
Again, not exactly a neon sign that says you’re interested. Telling him, however, “I would love for you to meet my friends” will probably set off a few bells.
10. You put a little more effort in your beauty routine.
Unless you drastically change your appearance, he is probably not going to pick up on what you think are obvious changes in your look. Using a new eyeshadow, trimming your hair, doing your nails will usually go unnoticed by him.
11. You look at him longer than necessary, even after he’s finished talking.
Unless you’re making it glaringly obvious and being borderline creepy, it’s more likely others will pick up on this than him.
12. You smile at him.
Do your friends smile at you? Well I hope they do. Are your friends into you? No? There you go.
13. You constantly bump into him ‘on accident.’
If all you’re doing is bumping into him, that’s not really a sign. Try telling him you’re happy to see him.
14. You stand closer to him when he’s speaking.
Unless you’re invading his personal space, he won’t really notice anything is out of the ordinary.
15. You ask to compare his hands’ size against yours.
I’ll give it to you, this definitely is a sign you’re flirting with him. You just need to couple it with some of the following:
16. You draw his attention to your body, face, hair, eyes all the time.
17. You touch him.
Only if you touch him more so than you do other people you know comparably well, will he feel you’re into him. If you’re already a touchy-feely person then he’ll be oblivious to your intentions.
A combination of these signs can give him a hint but only if he puts them all together. Each one on their own is undoubtedly going to go unnoticed. Although results may vary; you never know.
Instead, try doing the following:
1. Spend your time with him, even in group situations.
If you’re always choosing to spend your free time with him, as well as, when you’re out with friends, he’ll definitely feel you enjoy his company. Try this: "Hey, are you free? Let’s hangout." Don’t overthink if you’re coming on too strongly, if he’s not interested he’ll come up with an excuse not to hangout.
2. You don’t like him flirting with other girls.
This is a surefire way to show him you’re into him. Just don’t be too possessive when conveying this to him or else you might freak him out.
3. Share things in detail.
If you talk to him about things in detail and he sees you like sharing the ins and outs of your life with him, he’ll definitely feel special. Again, if you’re already the kind of person who normally does this, then it’ll be less obvious to him.
4. Remember little things he’s said.
There’s nothing like feeling that the person you’re talking to has taken an interest in you and has actually remembered little things you’ve told them. Remembering things he likes, what he was up to last weekend, his favorite artist, etc. will make him feel like you care about him and his interests. Why else would you have remembered all these small things? Maybe you have superhuman memory but that in itself is enough to make him fall for you.
5. Take the time to message him first.
There’s nothing wrong with being the first to text someone. You don’t always have to wait for him to start the conversation. Showing him you want to talk to him without him initiating is a good way to show him you’re interested.
6. Ask him personal or deep questions.
Asking more than how was your day and what are you up to, shows that you’re interested in more than just the small talk. Engaging and challenging his mind will be a breath of fresh air from all the chit chat. This is also a great opportunity to get to know his thoughts on a lot of things that are important to you and critical in a future relationship.
7. Develop interest in his interests.
You start watching that TV show he likes so you can have something to talk about? You pick up that book he said was his favorite? Great ways to show him you want to share more things with him.
8. Invite him to do things on your own, just you and him.
Short of wearing a shirt that says "Hey I’m into you," asking him out just you and him is a perfect way to show him you’re interested. These might as well be 'dates' without the label.
There’s a grey area between being a friendly considerate person open to building a friendship with someone, and romantic interest. If there aren’t any significant differences between how you treat him and how you treat the people close to you, then it’s very difficult to know whether you’re being a friendly person who just enjoys his company or a person who has romantic feelings for him.
Advice: Just tell him already! The worst that can happen is he won’t share the same feelings and you won’t have to waste your time.