January 27, 2015 12:00 AM | by Luci
Post #68: A Jungle of Women
Writing mode on! Now let’s get serious. Why do men love bitches? Harsh word, I know. Women shouldn’t call other women that, but what I’m about to tell you would also make you wonder.
As you would know by reading my previous, is that I recently started working in Dubai in one of the biggest PR companies there. Of course I didn’t expect it all to go perfect, I know it’s much more competitive here, but what I didn’t expect is the amount of back-stabbing you would see. I haven’t witnessed anything serious yet, but the stories I’ve heard are brutal. I’m being a bit dramatic, but who doesn’t love a little bit of drama especially when it’s not about yourself, right?
I haven’t made many friends at work yet, mainly because they’ve distributed themselves into groups that hate each other and I’m not sure which side I should pick yet. If you don’t pick, then you’re not trustworthy enough to join any of them. How childish, we should have passed that 5th grade material already!
Dana, who I work closely with has started to warm up a bit to me, but whenever she sees me talking to any of the girls she hates, she starts giving me attitude. On the other hand, Rania the other group leader is trying to sweet talk her way towards me and whenever she gets a chance to back-stab Dana, she does it. However, I don’t listen to any of that girlish crap. One day during lunch break, I decided to spend it with Rita, another new comer to the company, who has been there a couple of months before me.
Me: Why the crazy amount of hatred at the office? I really don’t get it.
Rita: I don’t either, but for some reason this is what you get in an environment full of women. Add the competitiveness of work and this is what you get. It’s like they’re animals in the jungle, a power struggle.
Me: So why did you decide to be on Rania’s side? If I may ask of course, I’m just curious to understand how this works, that’s all.
Rita: Well, Dana was never nice to me, she just treated me as if I didn’t exist when I first came. I only started speaking to her recently, but she doesn’t seem that bad to me.
Me: Yeah, I kind of like her. But still I feel there’s more to it, or else they wouldn’t head-butt that often.
Rita looked at me trying to figure out if I wanted to get more information out of her or if I actually knew something worth sharing.
Rita: What I’m going to tell you shouldn’t leave this table, promise?
Me: Yes, you have my word.
As far as I know and that’s actually what I’ve heard from Rania, Dana and she used to go to the same school and even college in Beirut, and their families are very close friends. Dana arrived to Dubai before Rania did and she started working in this company like three years ago, maybe a bit more. Rania followed her a year after, she also applied to the same company and got the job. Apparently, the story revolves around a guy who Dana liked a lot, but he was leaning more towards Rania. Dana didn’t like that and acted in a very aggressive way.
Me: Aggressive, how?
Rita: I think she started using every opportunity she had to back-stab Rania at work, taking advantage of the fact that she had a higher position. Rania however didn’t give up, she worked hard and she currently has the same exact position as Dana. She’s a hardworking girl, that I can tell you.
I nodded and didn’t comment much, but something didn’t seem right about that story. This Rita girl seems a bit too naive if I may say. She’s nice and everything, but it’s like she was spoon-fed one side of the story and based on it, she made a conclusion that it’s entirely Dana’s fault. Or maybe Rania is sneaky and knows how to manipulate people.
I didn’t pay much attention to that story, as I was determined not involve myself in non-sense drama. A few days later at work, Dana and I had to work extra hours to finish an important project for a client.
Dana: I can’t anymore, the letters are jumping. I need a short break.
Me: Should I get you coffee. Are you feeling ok?
Dana: Yeah, just exhausted, I’ve been working too long on this.
Me: Stressed about it?
Dana: Always. My work is all I have and I can’t really risk to screw up anything, or else it’ll be used against me.
Here we go again with that drama, I thought to myself. Should I just let what she said go or should I comment?
Me: Hmm, that’s not true.
Me: I felt like I had to say anything and this was the first thing that came to mind.
Dana: Hahaha, you’re crazy, you know that? And honest! I like that about you.
I smiled. For a second there, the curious side of me wanted to ask her how true the story I heard from Rita is, but of course I couldn’t. It’s not nice to have people talk that way about you, especially if it’s not true. And then, the opportunity came on its own…
Dana: So, is Rania still talking badly about me?
Me: Haha, should I really answer that?
Dana: That’s a yes then.
Me: What happened between you guys anyway?
Dana: I don’t feel comfortable talking about it, or I don’t want to be the kind of person who talks badly about others.
Me: Ok, just thought I’d ask.
Dana: Why, have you heard anything?
Me: Nothing specific, but I’m sure it goes beyond competition at work.
Dana: Yeah, we used to be the best of friends, but I guess you’re sometimes blinded by how far a person would go to get what they want and how little you actually know about them. Ok what the hell, I’m going to tell you, but please let’s keep it between us?
Me: For sure!
Here goes take two on the same story: Yes, they were best friends, Dana moved to Dubai and she had a boyfriend back in Beirut. They decided to go for a long-distance relationship as they were madly in love, until he finds an opportunity in Dubai. It was all going really well at the beginning, but all of a sudden he stopped returning any of her calls and kind of disappeared on her. Shortly afterwards, she found out that he started dating Rania.
Me: What? How? How could she?
Dana: I don’t know and I don’t care. My mother told me back then it was out of jealousy or just to show me that she’s better than me, either way, I don’t really care.
She did care, I could see it, up until this moment she did care.
Dana: Wait, there’s more. They dated for a while and of course I had a very big fight wither her, one day she decided it’s time for her to move to Dubai. It got to me at first, but then I thought it’s a bit selfish to think that way, plus she’d be at another company and we’ll barely run into each other. However, she ended up in the same company, because our parents' friends who helped me get this job, helped her too. For a long while there I flipped and I was planning on going back to Beirut, but my mother had a long talk with me about how I shouldn’t let a girl like her control my life. She’s nothing but black on the inside, she does have a black heart, trust me. I promised myself to try and be as professional as possible about it, but unfortunately I couldn’t do anything about it. One day she made a mistake related to a project she was working on with the other team leader, and I took this opportunity to quickly report it to Ahmed. Of course he gave her a very hard time, but it also made him aware that we’re enemies.
I looked at her trying to figure out what else would she tell me about Rania, or if that was the end of it. If what she’s saying is true, then that Rania is a bitch. Yup, I said it and I don’t regret it.
Dana: Now to the last part of that disturbed story. Rania then realized that I knew Ahmed, our boss, better than her, and that I could pay her back at any time I wanted to. So what did she do about it? You know he’s married, right? She started getting closer to him, and by closer I don’t mean just as a friend, but more intense. He’s a good guy, but if you’re a guy who already has lots of troubles in your marriage and a girl tries so hard to make her way to you, you’ll definitely enjoy that kind of attention.
Me: Is he still married? Or did she get to him?
Dana: Yes, he is, but he's going through a hard time I guess. The moment I tried to do her wrong once, I decided I’m here at work only to progress my career. I’m no longer planning on making friends, not with my co-workers, nor my boss. That’s why I don’t know much about his marriage at the moment, I don’t care, but you can tell when a person looks a bit unhappy. And finally, Rania recently got a promotion, making it as a team leader. She claims it’s a personal achievement, but it’s all a matter of how she actually got it, if you know what I mean?
I was stunned by the amount of details I got about that toxic person. For some reason, I believed Dana’s version of the story much more, because she didn’t only mention where Rania wronged her, but also what she had done. Rania apparently tells the story from a completely different perspective, where she’s an angel who didn’t do anything to Dana. Plus, I choose to believe that Dana and I are slowly becoming friends and that we make a good team at work as well.
I find it really weird that men don’t see behind bitchy behavior, it happened with Billy and Nathalie, with Dana’s ex-boyfriend and my current boss Ahmed. I’m also sure you’ve seen these stories happen around you as well. What’s up with that? It doesn’t make sense how men can’t see through that act?
I know there are always two sides of the story. Always! To get the full picture and know the truth, you would need to listen to both versions and know what to extract to find what makes sense the most to you. You know what I have discovered? It’s the one spreading the rumors about the other person and blabbering way too much about it is usually the one who did terrible things, that terrible that it has to be hidden. They’re just trying too hard.
I’ll leave you with one last thought. Anytime a woman gets into competition with another woman, she demeans herself, because girls are the ones who feel the urge to compete against one another, but true genuine women, would empower one another instead.
If you enjoyed this post, don't miss out on reading the rest of Luci's story here>>
Have You Read These?