March 31, 2014 12:00 AM | by Luci
A Match Made in Heaven
"What was that again Ma?" I shouted from the room next to hers.
Mum: I give up on you, honestly!
I have to admit, she could easily win the award for best drama queen, an adorable one of course, but at other times, she just knows how to hit the right nerve. Let me sum up what we've been arguing about for the past two hours. Approximately a week ago, she started hinting that I seemed sad, which is not true as I'm finally getting everything together again. Then she mention that perhaps I needed someone exciting in my life, and to that I responded I have pretty amazing friends and colleagues at work, but of course that answer didn't do it for her. A day later, I was finally able to find out what she was truly after, which is trying to set me up. Again, my mother was worried that I would end up on my own. Being now 27 and all, she thought the clock was ticking much faster and it's now or never. Personally I don't understand where she gets that stuff from, you can't really rush these things, now can you? Anyway, so after going back and forth about me needing to meet some interesting men, she suggested her friend's son Mostafa. It wasn't really a suggestion, but more of a decision. I have to tell you that woman isn't easy at all!
Now since I didn't have much of a choice about that date, which by the way was going to take place at home where Mostafa would come over for dinner, with the presence of my mum, I decided it might be a good idea to show her I'm not that easily controlled. Seriously, love doesn't happen that way, or at least if it does, both parties need to be ready, and I'm not. Not at all! So Mostafa, what should I do to drive you away?
First off, I called up Mona and asked her to tag along so I wouldn't have to make lots of conversation. She wasn't up for it at first, but then I told her mum was preparing some delicious food and one second later she was in. Well, that was easy! Next up, I needed to give off the impression that I'm kind of cuckoo. We've all seen it in Arabic movies and it seems to be the easiest way out. I kept on thinking of the different things I could do, but got inspired only on the day he was coming over.
The door rang, I could hear my mum opening up and greeting Mostafa. Shortly afterwards, the door rang again and it was Mona. They started talking and then I thought it was time for me to join them.
Mostafa: You must be Luci, nice to meet you. I heard great things about you.
Me: Great meeting you too.
My mum scans me up and down and then gives me the weird look. Great, she noticed!
Mum: Luci, can I have a word?
She takes me to the side and I try to keep a straight face.
Mum: What the hell are you thinking?
Mum: Didn't you look into the mirror? Wearing two different pairs of shoes? I know you did that on purpose.
Me: Opppsss! Of course I didn't. I'm trying to give off a great impression, don't worry.
Mum: Oh really? Is that why you've turned your face into a white pie?
Me: What do you mean?
Mum: Don't play dumb young girl. I've been there and done that.
Me: You mean I don't look pretty like that? I only used some extra foundation, that's all mum!
She looked at me trying to figure out if I was doing that on purpose or trying to annoy her, but luckily she couldn't tell the difference just yet. Soon enough she will though...
Mona: So Luci, is that like a new trend or something? The different shoes thingy?
Me: Hahaha don't embarrass me in front of Mostafa! It seems that I couldn't see straight out of excitement.
Mostafa: That's so sweet of you!
He'll hopefully soon drop the sweet act and start getting annoyed. I hope!
Mum started serving dinner and I sat in my place without even moving.
Mum: Luci can you come and help me?
Me: Give me a second mum, I can't move my leg.
Mostafa: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah yeah, I just worked out yesterday for like 10 minutes.
He looked at me, not sure whether I was joking or actually serious. Good, I'm on the right track. I went over to help my mum and then we finally started eating.
Me: Mostafa can I help you with the food?
Mostafa: No, don't worry about it.
I waited to see how much he put into his plate and made sure to add three times that quantity into mine.
Mum: Luci, the food isn't going anywhere honey.
Me: What's wrong mum, I only just started. That's nothing!
She gave me that look and I knew she got me busted. That's not going to stop me though!
Me: Mostafa, are you on a diet?
Mostafa: No, why?
Me: Hmmm, you eat so little. I love a guy with a fat belly!
Mona: You do?
Me: Yeah, there's nothing better than that. You just know that they enjoy the little things about life, just like food.
They all look at me not knowing exactly what to say. I could see Mostafa struggling to find the right words and make it less awkward, but he wasn't able to. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, I have to give him that, but it wasn't personal. I was just trying to prove to my mum that I'm not to be pushed towards a certain decision, just because she thinks I would end up alone. I'm still young, confident, and smart, and these are qualities that should be able to get great people attracted to me, or so I hope!
Now it was time for my final act. Something to prove that it doesn't get weirder than that. Hopefully he'll run out of the door afterwards.
Me: Pssst, go away! (and I started waving with my hand)
Mum: Are you ok?
Me: Yeah, it's just a silly fly I think.
A few seconds later, I started waving my hands again, this time shouting angrily at the non-existing fly.
Me: Stop it!
Me: This fly is killing me. (continuing to wave)
Mum: Just let it go Luci!
Me: No mum, I can't!
Now the question was, should I go all drama queen on them and start shedding a few tears because I hate flies, or should I get more aggressive and show off some anger in an attempt to get rid of the fly? Hard decision, I can tell you.
Mum: So Mostafa, your mum tells me you have your own architecture firm?
Mostafa: Yes, I've opened it three years ago, It's based between here and ....
Me: I swear to God if you don't stop bothering me, I'll do something nasty to you!
They all turn around and look at me, while I continue waving my hands to shu away the fly.
Me: I can't take this anymore, why wouldn't it leave me alone on such a big day? Excuse me guys!
I run off to the bathroom in a very dramatic way. As soon as I get there, I burst out laughing and couldn't stop for a good minute or two. I then make my way back to the table extremely happy, as if nothing happened at all. That's what they call multiple personality disorder!
My mum decided to leave us a bit to chitchat, or in other words, she was hoping I would drop the act if she wasn't around. She asked Mona to join her to "help her out" with a few things.
Me: Mostafa, you know I'm not crazy like that, do you?
Mostafa: Crazy like what?
Me: Oh stop it, stop being that polite. Let me tell you what's going on here.
Mostafa: To be honest, I think you're very dramatic.
Me: Well thank you. At least part of my plan worked, until I noticed you're a decent guy, so I owe you an explanation. I hate it when my mum tries to set me up, and this time I wanted to show her that she can't control me that way. I'm very sorry you were the victim here.
Mostafa: Hahaha thank God we're on the same page. Can I be honest about something?
Mostafa: I didn't come here willingly either. My parents have been pushing and pushing that I need to stop being a workaholic and try and meet someone, or else I'll end up alone. So I finally gave in and decided to come.
Me: Ok, but we both agree that there's no attraction there, right? Especially after what you've seen.
Mostafa: Damn right hahaha! You'd make a pretty crazy and cool friend though.
Me: I'm very relieved now, and again don't take me wrong.
Mostafa: I know exactly what you mean, don't worry about it. Can I ask you for a favor though?
Me: Yup shoot.
Mostafa: Would it be okay with you if I ask Mona for her number or perhaps ask her out?
Me: I knew there was a hidden spark there! She's an awesome girl I have to tell you. Go ahead, I couldn't be happier. At least that day turned out to be great for someone hehe
Putting an act like that together wasn't easy, as a matter of fact it was kind of exhausting. I'm happy though I made it clear to him that it's all an act. I check my phone to see if anyone has remembered I'm still alive and exist, and find a message from the handsome Mr. Amr saying: "You won't believe what just happened! I signed the deal with the company I was meeting last week for investment. This is HUGEEE, so huge that we both need to celebrate together. P.S. No one knows other than you. I had to share such awesome news with you ;)"