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Lifestyle Header image lucis column fustany 2020 main image 46

| by Luci

Post #46: Adios Drama for Now

Let me first start by telling you I’m extremely sorry I've been away for the past two weeks, but I was overwhelmed with work and too many thoughts as well. I have to warn you, this post might seem a bit on the pessimistic side, but I couldn’t help but ask myself this question. Do us women rather be lonely or take a risk of getting hurt? It’s that leap of faith you decide to take, that can either make you extremely happy and full of joy or leave you disappointed like never before. I have witnessed many (supposedly) true love stories that started off perfectly and ended up in the weirdest ways. You either fall apart or something just changes one by one without even realizing it, and all of a sudden it becomes so obvious and you can no longer ignore it.

I can clearly see the pros and cons of each option, but it’s just hard to pick. Did I tell you Billy has been texting me? Yeah, I know he’s an ***. He just got married and now he’s texting again, and then there’s the issue of Nathalie and him coming back from the honeymoon early. I wonder what went wrong there? Another voice in my head kept on telling me that it’s no longer my business and that I should stop caring. You know what? I’m just human and sometimes we can’t really control how we feel nor what we think. It’s a complicated equation but it is what it is. I’ve been trying to focus on getting the ball rolling with Amr, but for some reason I’m not ready yet and at the same time I’m kind of afraid he’ll get bored of my hesitation. One day I’m in and flirty and the next one I just treat him as a regular friend.

Looking back at whatever was between Billy and me, would I have done it again or would I have preferred to be on my own instead? I think I’d go for the second option, but then again I wouldn’t have had lots of emotional things to share with you. He’s not making my life any easier and keeps on bugging me with “I miss you” messages all the time. Man, get your act together and focus your energy on your wife instead of wasting my time. I don’t really get men anymore, they’re too complicated for me. Yes, we all have to agree we’re not the weird ones here, but they are (men)!

Now back to my first question, where I would love to hear your opinion about it. Lonely or take the risk of getting hurt? Let me elaborate further on that point by simply giving you examples you can relate to such as Dina, Habiba, Mona and myself. Each one of us has a unique character in its very own way and we’ve all had our fair share of drama or the complete lack of it in our lives.

Let’s kick it off with Habiba, who has never been in a relationship before she got engaged to Rafik. She always used to joke about having her name mean lovable, yet no guy has ever loved her. She’s the kind of girl who likes to please the crowd, not very confident and she always feared ending up alone. Did she go for a relationship with a guy almost twice her age (Rafik) just because of the fear of being lonely? There’s a very big possibility that’s the reason behind it, but no one’s judging here, she’s free to do whatever pleases her. 

Some say weak people are afraid to end up alone and others claim that it is the strong ones who go into love fearlessly regardless of what may happen next. Well, that’s how I’d perfectly describe Dina, or at least the old Dina I knew a few years ago before things ended with her fiancé pretty badly. I truly believe that when you take the risk of falling in love, you’re also taking a big chance of having to deal with the changes that you’ll face, especially when it comes to your personality, if things don’t go the right way. Dina changed, she changed a lot, and when she chose the option of getting hurt rather than being lonely, she ended up being too afraid to show that she would ever truly care about someone again. She prefers to hide behind closed doors and just have her supposedly strong and player side dominate. Deep down, I know that all she wants is to end up with a decent guy who wouldn’t hurt her again, but until that happens, I know my bestie would pick the option of being lonely. It’s just a safer option for her or she might keep herself entertained with some not so serious eye candy, that’s the man eater we all know!

Mona, however, is the exact opposite. She was never as trusting as Dina was around people, but she always preferred to keep her distance from them and it would take her forever to warm up to someone, especially men. She’s the kind of girl who'd rather do things on her own to avoid any disappointments, dedicating her love and energy towards things that would benefit her such as her career and other projects. You can’t blame her now, can you? Once again, being on your own beats taking the risk of love.

Now back to myself, I’d like to tell you I’m a complicated person, because I might come off as cool, but in reality, whenever I fall into some trouble I turn into quite the drama queen. But I promise you that this phase will be over soon. I have always been that average and relatively shy girl, who’s looking for her prince charming, but let’s face it he only exists in Disney movies. My motto is trying not to miss out on good chances and that’s exactly why I’ve always fallen for the wrong guy. I take a leap of faith, I trust too soon and then love blinds me. When that happens, us women unfortunately don’t think with our brains anymore, but the heart just leads the way. You know what? I’d rather be a strong woman who does the breaking instead of getting her heart broken. No scratch that, I’d like to install some really good breaks to my heart so I wouldn’t jump in head over heels next time. After all, one needs to learn from their mistakes or else I’ll just be another idiot, and I think I’m smarter than that. If only it was that easy to control your emotions, life would definitely get rid of the unneeded drama.

So three (Dina, Mona and myself) versus one (Habiba), would go for being on our own and perhaps at times feeling some loneliness rather than just jumping in as if life is pink. I just felt like sharing some wisdom with you this week as I wouldn’t want to see anyone making my own mistakes. Here’s the conclusion I came to, you need to love when you’re ready not just because you’re alone, because only then you’ll be doing it for the right reasons and you’ll be able to think things through.

Now, should I excite you about my upcoming post? Think Dubai! Dina and I planning to go wild, she’s going for a vacation and I’ll be there too for work. Guess who else will be joining me? AMR! I hope until then I would have made up my mind so I can get my flirty side on. Adios drama, I don’t think I’ll be thinking about you for a while!

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Tags: Luci  Arab women  Women  Arab relationships  Relationship advice  Relationships  Relationship problems  Relationship tips  Luci's column