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| by Luci

Post #88: My Very First Session

I'm sitting, waiting to get into the doctor's room. Which doctor you might ask? My very first therapy session! I had to distract myself a bit. Is it normal to be nervous before your first session? I think it is, as I'll be blabbering about my very personal life details to a stranger, but then again I've been doing that with you. I don't consider you strangers however, I think of you as my virtual friends. I put a complete list of things I would like to discuss with my doctor, including details of what has been happening to me with Faisal. I've been having bad memory lately, so I don't want to end up forgetting anything. I'm nervous, did I already say that? Well, let's see if this is going to be helpful.

So, how did my first therapy session go? First of all, I really liked my therapist and felt super comfortable around her. She asked me why I decided to start therapy, and to explain a little about myself. I gave her a brief about myself, my past lovers and how my relationship with Faisal has been stressful lately.

The interesting part was, she wasn't shocked at all when I told her that I haven't told my husband that I decided to come to therapy on my own. She said, a lot of her clients choose to keep it just for themselves, as I am working on me, myself and I.

However, I questioned whether keeping such a secret was healthy for our already struggling relationship or not. I mean, I will have to lie to him A LOT! When he asks where I'm going or if he calls at the beginning of the session, and I call him back an hour later. It just doesn't seem right.

I am not embarrassed or ashamed to tell him about therapy. I'm just worried that if I do tell him, his reaction or how he acts every time I inform him I'm going would affect my progress.

So, lovely readers, I'm torn, should I tell my husband or keep it a secret?

Stay tuned for my next post Saturday at 11:00 AM (Cairo time), as I have dive into two more therapy sessions throughout the week, and we'll be flashing back to my wedding day and night!

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