Please close the ad blocker to view the full site content
Lifestyle Header image lucis column fustany 2020 main image 57

| by Luci

Post #57: Take Me As I Am or Watch Me As I Go

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Well, that’s what Dina keeps on telling herself. Apparently since the day she decided she no longer wants to be a player, she’s been having a pretty hard time finding someone who takes her seriously. It’s hard to change a reputation surrounding you and people are pretty judgmental around her for some reason. I get it, we live in the Middle East and men tend to want that innocent kind of girl who has a clear past, but that’s so not fair. They get to play around here and there but because they’re men, no one seems to judge them. It’s time that this changes once and for all. Who’s with me on that?

Dina: Luci, are you even listening to me?

Me: Yup darling, I am, but I got a bit carried away by that guy’s comment. So he has no problem going out with you, but he doesn’t want to officially call you his girlfriend? What an ***!

Dina: He honestly is, maybe I should have continued having fun and that’s all. I’m not the relationship type anyway!

Me: Who said you’re not, everyone can be in a relationship, but it’s just a matter of finding the person who loves you and appreciates you the way you are.

Dina: Is Amr like that?

Me: Yes he is, or at least he was, now I’m not so sure.

Dina: What does that mean? Tell me more!

Me: It’s been okay I guess. Nothing major happening lately, but I’m starting to discover his personality more and more. I know I’ve known him for a very long while, but there are things you only start noticing after being in a relationship for a while.

Dina: And you’re liking what you’re discovering so far?

Me: Well, I’m not so sure yet, I’ll need to get back to you about that.

Dina: That doesn’t sound so good, care to share a bit more? I might be able to help you out.

Me: For some reason, I’m beginning to see his pushy and controlling side more and more now. Ever since he told me about his ex wife I’m getting this feeling that he’s afraid to lose me, and therefore he’s being too possessive. Or maybe I’m just imagining things!

Dina: I don’t think you are, women have that gut feeling that never disappoints them. If you feel that way, then you’re definitely onto something.

Me: Yeah, I guess you’re right, but let’s just wait and see. I’ve got nothing to lose, do I?

I wasn’t that much occupied with Amr changing, but more with how Dina is feeling. As I told you guys before, she acts tough on the outside, but on the inside I know she’s hurting, especially since she’s been hearing that terrible talk from several guys, not just one. She starts liking someone and decides to give it a try, and then he turns out to have that same exact mentality that judges the hell out of her. I wish I could just help her find someone who’d take her as she is. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I kept on trying to scratch my head for someone who’d fit her and all of a sudden I remembered one person who might be the right fit. Who? A guy who’s been very much into her in high school and he was really shocked back then when Dina got with her ex. Now what was his name again?

Me: Dina, do you remember the guy who liked you a lot back in high school?

Dina: Do you mean that geek Ahmed?

Me: Don’t call him that, he wasn’t a geek.

Dina: Sorry! What about him?

Me: Let’s look him up on Facebook, I’m very curious to see how he looks like now and what he’s been up to. Maybe, just maybe he turned into someone you could potentially date?

It took us quite some time to find him, but once we did I had a feeling Dina would start seeing him differently. He wasn’t all that skinny anymore, but rather very well built, his pictures indicated that he had a good taste in clothes, oh and did I mention he studied in Harvard and had his own business now in the US? I looked at Dina and she was definitely impressed. High five Luci!

Me: See, I always told you not to judge him.

Dina: We were kids back then, everyone was mean.

Me: If that makes you sleep better at night, then okay!

Dina: Now what?

Me: Now you work your magic. I found you a great candidate who was crazy about you and would be able to see how great you are on his own. No judging hopefully, I know you’ve had enough of that.

Dina: Should I add him? Or should you?

Me: Why should I? He was with you in school!

Dina: Okay, here it goes. (She clicked the “Add Friend” button)

He accepted her friend request shortly afterwards and then they started talking and all of a sudden I felt like an outcast, she completely ignored me. Good, I feel like I accomplished something, regardless if she’ll manage to grab his attention again or not, I’m happy she’ll be forgetting about the negative talk she’s been getting at least for a while.

It was time for me to focus my attention back on Amr. We spoke over the phone to catch up as I haven’t seen him for some time. He was on business trip for the past week and I truly felt like I missed him way too much. 

Amr: By the way, my mum wants to meet you. Are you free next Tuesday?

Honestly I was pretty excited about it, even though he told me before clearly that his mum wasn’t easy to please, but I was up for the challenge. After all, why wouldn’t she possibly not like me?

Amr: Did you say something?

Me: No, only that I was excited to see her.

Amr: I think I heard you say something like why wouldn’t she possibly not like me. Did I hear that right?

Damn it, I said that out loud?! Seems like I got a bit carried away and was talking to myself again. Yes, it does happen often!

Me: I didn’t mean it in a bad way, just in a funny way. I’m a bit worried to be honest.

Amr: You have nothing to worry about, you’re amazing! Just wear something chic and you’re good to go.

What did he just say? Wear something chic? HELLO, I think that’s considered a bit rude, right? I’m smart enough to know I need to present myself pretty well in front of his mum, he doesn’t need to tell me that.

Anyway, I’ll be giving you all the tiny details about meeting his parents and how it actually went down, but let me just leave you with one last thought here. We all look for that one person who would love us the way we are, no judging, no tearing us apart and someone who enjoys the unique things about us, right? Well, how can we expect to find that person we’re asking for when we it’s so hard for us to accept someone the way they are. Stop trying to change the person you’re into, either you take them the way they are or be ready for some changes yourself, just like you’re trying to reform them.

Next Story

Previous Story

If you enjoyed this post, don't miss out on reading the rest of Luci's story here>>

Tags: Luci  Relationships  Arab relationships  Relationship advice  Relationship problems  Relationship tips  Friendship  Girlfriends  Love  Couples  Luci's column