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Lifestyle Header image lucis column fustany 2020 main image 58

| by Luci

Post #58: Beware of the Mum

It’s not hard to spot a judgmental person from afar, but you can always be sure you’ve met one when they bombard you with many questions. It's not for the sake of knowing you better, but rather to tick each and every question they have prepared to ask you off their list. Remember when I told you I’ll update you on how it went with Amr’s parents? Well, let’s just say the word terrible is an understatement. I think his mother thinks she’s part of the royal family or something, there’s no other explanation to the way she has been acting around me other than that.

Amr’s mum: So Luci, nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.

Me: Great seeing you too auntie, hopefully they’re only good things.

She didn’t respond to that and instead, she turned around to her maid asking her about the status of the food. Okay, maybe she wants to make sure I have a decent meal at their house.

Amr’s mum: Luci, tell me a bit more about yourself. Which school did you go to?

Seriously? I’ve graduated more than nine years ago. Once I answered that, the college I went to was her next question, what my parents were doing for a living, where we lived and the list just went on and on.

Amr started noticing that I’m getting a bit uncomfortable with the amount of questions. I don’t mind giving her all these details, but it would have been much nicer if they flew within a conversation, not in the form a Q&A. Amr’s dad was really quiet, you could see that his mum was the one wearing the pants around this house. He looked like he’s a really nice guy, kept on smiling at me politely and I could see we’d get along pretty well. With his mum? I hope we do as well, but I doubt it.

Amr’s mum: So Luci, how long have you been working for Amr?

One more question and I’m going to stop smiling, I’ll just give her a pokerface, I don’t care how rude she thinks I am. The fact that Amr didn’t do anything up till now to help the conversation take another direction wasn’t making me happy either.

Me: I’m not sure auntie, perhaps two and a half years? How long has it been Amr?

Amr: More like three years.

Amr’s mum: Oh, you’re not new over there. Isn’t it awkward to see your boss?

She didn’t even smile at me while saying that. How the hell can I answer her question without being rude. WOMAN STOP ASKING ME! Thankfully Amr’s dad interrupted her saying: “Luci, don’t let him give you a hard time at work hehe.”

Me: I try to keep work and our relationship apart, but he’s a nice guy, don’t worry hehe

The food was finally ready and as soon as we made it to the dining table, his mother’s first comment was: “Luci, you should eat a lot, I think you’ll be much prettier if you gained more weight.”

I looked at Amr, trying to ask him to save me, but nothing, it’s like he didn’t have a personality when it came to his mum.

Me: I actually like myself the way I am.

Amr’s mum: Yeah, but you’ll look nicer with some more weight on.

She basically repeated the same thing, so I decided just to nod at this point. It’s obvious she didn’t like me or she already had her mind made up before even meeting me. It’s funny I was actually looking forward to meeting her. Let me not bore you any further with her negative attitude towards me, but let me tell you that the questions and mean comments didn’t stop there. Amr didn’t say anything, I’m not even sure why he didn’t speak up, he doesn’t have to defend me or anything, but he could just make things a bit easier on me. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

It took me two more hours of torture, and then I was finally able to make an escape, claiming that I had promised my dad to help him out with something very important. Important my ***, I just had to get out of there. It’s obvious this lady would make my life a living hell if Amr and I decide to get serious and it’s also obvious that he’s not going to tell her to back off.

A few hours passed and Amr didn’t contact me or anything. I told myself fine, maybe he’s busy doing something, but the day he met my parents I made sure to tell him how much they loved him, but obviously he didn't care enough to let me know. I didn’t hear anything from him until the end of the day and not the next day either, but I eventually saw him two days later at work. You can always notice when there’s something wrong with someone, when they’re trying to avoid eye contact. Great, seems like his mum messed up with his head. Instead of him trying to apologize for the way she treated me at her house or just talk normally so it would pass easily, he’s avoiding me. Oh, it’s not just that, did I mention that he started complaining about my behavior throughout the day?

All of a sudden, I’m too sloppy at work, I need to focus more, exert more effort, it’s like he’s indirectly giving me his mother’s feedback about me through work related comments. This is when I decided that enough is enough, I should be the one who is angry, not him and not his mum. I waited until the work day was over and then went into his office saying: “Is everything okay?”

Amr: Yeah, why shouldn’t it be?

Me: Let me rephrase, it’s a rhetorical question. I know everything is not okay, but I wanted to hear it from you.

Amr: I’ve been meaning to talk to you.

Me: Let me talk to you first. I didn’t like the way your mum treated me one bit, but kept on telling myself fine, Amr is going to say something or at least crack a joke to change the subject, but nothing happened.

Amr: I actually thought you’re the one who didn’t treat her well. It wouldn’t hurt you to be a bit more polite around older people.

Me: Oh my God, how can you say that? Just replay everything that happened two days ago in your head again and then come speak to me. I’m going home, but just a piece of advice, if I were you, I’d go ask my dad how it all went. He was there too and I’m sure he saw things just the right way.

He was about to make another delusional comment about my personality when I slammed the door behind me and left the office. WOW, did I stumble into a mummy’s boy right here?

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Tags: Luci  Love  Couples  Relationships  Arab relationships  Relationship problems  Luci's column  Mother-in-law