March 24, 2015 12:00 AM | by Luci
The Difference Between A Boy and A Man
Habiba: Oh God, I’m so nervous!
Me: It’s completely fine you gorgeous lady. We’re only a few minutes away from your wedding and I just want you to focus on having fun. We’ll take care of everything else. I promise!
Mona and Dina nodded agreeing to what I said. I was also a bit nervous, mainly because I wanted to make sure everything was going perfectly for Habiba’s big day, but also because I was going to see Billy and I haven’t seen him in such a long time.
Habiba: Girls, you remember the dance? Have you memorized the moves.
Dina: I know them by heart and maybe I’ll throw in some dirty moves as well, just to entertain the crowd.
Habiba: Please don’t hahaha
I’m not usually emotional at weddings but seeing Habiba and Rafik during their "Zaffa" made me tear up a bit and Faisal, Rafik’s friend, was right next to me looking at me weirdly.
Faisal: Oh wow, didn’t know you’re that much of a drama queen.
Me: Shut up!
Faisal: Fine. Let’s get this dance thing out of the way, shall we?
He grabbed my hands as the music started playing for the dance we had prepared for Habiba and Rafik. I was surprised we didn’t suck that much. Dancing with a 40 something guy wasn’t bad, he’s smooth with his moves. I looked over to Dina, waiting for her to add her weird dance moves, but she was very much enjoying herself not to make a joke out of all of us. Good, that’s done and out of the way! Right afterwards, it was time for Habiba and Rafik to make a round and greet the guests, which gave me some time to grab a glass of water at the closest table I could find. I scanned the room to find him, but couldn’t see him anywhere. Would it be possible that he would miss Habiba’s big day? That’s so unlike Billy! My thoughts got interrupted by someone patting my shoulders, followed by a deep voice saying: “It’s so good to see you stranger!”
Me: Good to see you too!
Billy: Are you back from Dubai for good?
Me: Nope, I’m going back in a few days. How have you been?
Billy: I’m okay, but I miss having you around.
Me: Yeah right dude. Don’t bullshit me.
Billy: I’m not! It’s the truth whether you choose to believe it or not.
Me: Enough with that talk, can’t we just deal with being around eachother like adults and put any feelings behind us?
Billy: So you’re asking me to be a hypocrite?
Me: I’m asking you to take responsibility for your actions. Stop being a boy and act like a man for once in your life. I can’t do this now, I’m hitting the dance floor.
I walked away towards Dina who was the only person dancing like crazy on the dance floor.
Dina: Finally! I was beginning to think I’m the only person here who knows how to have fun. Let’s do silly moves and embarrass Habiba?
Me: Let’s do that!
We started dancing like wild chicken and without noticing it, more and more guests began joining us. I can’t remember the last time I let loose and had that much fun. I danced straight for three hours, minus short breaks where I would get Habiba some water or tissues. She looked so happy and extremely beautiful and her wedding gown was out of this world. For a second there I felt like, maybe getting married isn’t the worst thing that could happen, as a matter of fact, finding the right person and marrying them would actually be pretty thrilling. I saw Billy looking at me too many times, but I guess I was equally guilty, I mean I only noticed because I was looking towards him. I then came to the conclusion that whatever is in the past is there for a reason, and should not under any circumstances be revisited.
Faisal: You know you dance like a chicken?
Me: Oh wow, such a nice compliment.
Faisal: What can I say, I’m a good friend.
Me: No you’re not!
Faisal: Why so?
Me: Because if you were, you would start doing the chicken dance moves with me too.
He started laughing hysterically and all of a sudden he started dancing like a five year old kid. I love it when people make fun of themselves, it’s refreshing to see them not take everything too serious. One awesome song after the other started playing and things went mad once the remix version of “Twist Again” was on. I didn’t even notice that it was time for the buffet and neither did anyone on the dance floor. It was only when Habiba was throwing the bouquet when I took notice that my legs started hurting. I really dislike how many women stand in line just to try and catch the bouquet the bride is throwing, and that’s why my first reaction was moving away from that line.
Mum: Luci, aren’t you going to try and catch it?
Me: No mum, do I look that desperate?
Mum: They say it’s good luck! Plus Habiba would want you to join that crowd, do it for the fun of it and while you’re at it, you never know, you might be next.
I started complaining to myself, but knew I had to walk and stand in that crowd. Thankfully, I wasn’t the one who caught it, but Dina was.
Dina: Oh God, no I don’t want to be next!
Me: Hahahahaha it might not be a bad thing.
Dina: Look who’s getting all soft?
I have to admit, this was the most fun wedding I have ever been to. It went on for a couple more hours and then Habiba and Rafik had to leave, but the DJ didn’t stop. I didn’t stop dancing either and neither did Dina, Mona and Faisal and a few other people. Billy was gone, thankfully.
Dina: Let’s leave, I can’t stand on my feet any longer. Please now!
Me: Ok ok. One second, let me grab my things.
Most close friends of the bride and the groom booked hotel rooms knowing none of us would be able to drive back home after such a long night. We made it back to our room and I had to take a quick shower, once I was out I found Dina deeply sleeping and maybe even snoring a bit. Right before I was going to take a video of that to document it, I get a message on Facebook.
Faisal: Are you going to sleep?
Me: Don’t feel like it yet. What are you thinking?
Faisal: I wanna go out for a smoke. Join me?
Me: Ok! See you in the lobby in 10 mins.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and then thought what the hell, it’s fine if I go down without makeup, it’s not like I’m trying to impress the dude or anything.
Faisal: Oh, fancy pajamas.
Me: They’re not pajamas man.
Faisal: Sorry, they looked like they were.
Me: Remember, I’m here as entertainment and you shouldn’t try to upset the entertainment.
Me: Had fun today?
Faisal: I haven’t had this much fun for a very long time. I really needed this and I’m so glad to see Rafik finally have his happily ever after.
Me: Don’t go all fluffy on me.
Faisal: Look who’s talking, the girl who pretends she’s tougher than anyone else out there.
Me: I am tough.
Faisal: No you’re not, you’re like a kitten.
Me: Don’t call me that!
Faisal: So who was the guy you were arguing with earlier in the wedding?
Me: How did you even notice that?
Faisal: I happened to be drinking water on the table right across you.
Me: He’s just a silly boy.
Faisal: Boy? He seems more like a grown-up to me.
Me: Yeah, here’s the thing, age doesn’t really play a role in determining whether a male is a man or still a boy. It’s more about actions!
Faisal: Deep talk, I love that. So what do you think is the difference between a man and a boy? I’d be interested to hear that.
Me: Are you ready for it?
- A boy is and always will be self-centered, whereas a man cares about people’s feelings.
- A boy doesn’t know what trustworthy is, whereas a man values and respects when someone hands in their trust.
- A boy will blow things out of proportions, fight and will turn the situation into a messy one, but a man will be rational about it.
- A boy doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and blames it on anyone or anything else other than himself. A man apologizes and takes full responsibility if he was wrong.
- A boy doesn’t even know what he wants, he’s all over the place and confused, one minute he wants something really badly and the next moment he’s not even interested. A man takes his time to think things through and once he makes a decision, he’s crystal clear and goes for it.
- A boy plays games, a man values honesty.
- A boy talks and dreams all day long with tons of exciting ideas, a man takes action and makes them happen.
- A boy will try to blame things on you if you’re having a heated argument, whereas a man will be able to handle your attitude and explain things throughly, even numerous times, until you reach a conclusion.
- A boy will have many insecurities and won’t have enough trust in himself and hence his partner. A man on the other hand knows his value and knows he picked his partner because he can trust her and therefore never exaggerates with his jealousy.
- A boy will nag to get you to do what he wants to, a man will try to convince you with logic.
- A boy cares too much about your looks and will tease you about it if he feels like you’re not taking care of yourself the way he expects you to. A man appreciates you the way you are and understands everyone has pretty busy days, what he’ll push you to do though is to take some time and relax, because you need it.
So you see, a guy can be in his sixties but still have the mentality of a boy, or in his twenties and have the mentality of a man.
Faisal: Oh wow, it’s a good thing you know all that at such a young age, but the question is, which guy messed you up that badly? And you forgot one thing…
Me: Which is?
Faisal: A boy freaks out whenever shit hits the fan, a man will always stay behind to face things.
I couldn’t help but take what he just said very personal. Maybe a bit too personal because that’s exactly what I have been doing throughout my life. I run away instead of facing.
Faisal: What’s wrong? You have a weird look on your face!
Me: I just realized that I’m acting all wise and criticizing guys, boy versus man, whereas I’m still stuck in the girl phase.
Faisal: Well, then change it. Now that you have your “aha-moment”, it’s all in your hands. Right?
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