January 06, 2014 12:00 AM | by Luci
The Different Flavors of Men
Let me start this post by telling you that I came up with a brilliant analysis on men, but before I tell you more about it, here's how it all started. I arrived to the office on a Sunday morning and the moment I sat on my desk, Amr called me to tell me that I'm the one who got the promotion, aka the new vacancy which I told you about previously. I was so thrilled to hear the news, and we started chit-chatting a bit more when he told me about this girl who was madly into him.
Amr: So we dated casually for a while but I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet, and the moment she started talking about taking things to the next step I disappeared.
Me: Oh, how typical! That's really how most men do it.
I tried to convince him to at least speak to her and let her down easily before just disappearing like he did, because nothing beats honesty, and he promised me he'll think about it. That's when I started thinking of all the different types of men (my friends and I came across) and how each one of them lets a girl down when he's not that into her or simply loses interest. Since I haven't brought up ice-cream for a while, I thought it would be best to divide men into five different types, each one of them with a flavor.
Starting off with the chocolate or to be more specific, the dark chocolate. That's the kind of guy who has a mysterious side, some even think he's cold, which is somehow true and he's also a bit full of himself. That guy never chases a girl even if he's fond of her. He gives her small hints and is a bit nicer to her than to the rest. Once she falls for him, he warms up a bit more to her and she loves his mysterious side and the fact that he started to open up to her, which makes her feel special. When or if he realizes, no, she's not the one for him or she wants a bit more out of this relationship, he starts giving her the cold shoulder, claiming he's just too busy at work. And that's it, he disappears out of her life step by step, until he completely vanishes.
Next up is the vanilla type of man, the sweet guy, he's too kind to everyone, very friendly, trustworthy and makes a great friend, if not even a best-friend. He's the kind of guy that often gets friend-zoned because most women feel too comfortable around him. But then there's the kind of girl who truly appreciates his qualities and enjoys the attention he's giving her. After a while, she starts falling for him, but it usually takes a bit longer, and she sees in him what no other person does. The problem with that kind of guy, is that he gives most of the women out there (the close ones to him) a big amount of attention, so it's really hard to identify if he's into you or not. There's also the problem that he usually ignores what he has and looks for a strong woman, but doesn't have much experience to depend on it. So what does vanilla do when one of his close friends falls for him? He thinks about it, and either takes baby steps until the girl loses interest or acts a bit childish about it because he doesn't know better. The good thing about vanilla though is that he will try as hard as possible to keep that girl as a close friend.
Now moving on to caramel! Seriously, who doesn't love caramel? He's too good to be true, but be aware of his sneaky side. You know what they say about caramel, if you have more than a scoop, you'll end up overdosing on sugar or even craving more. Caramel uses his charm and all the tricks he has up his sleeves to get you exactly where he wants you. If you don't fall for him instantly, then that's even better because he loves the chase. He does his very best to grab your attention; flirt, invite you to amazing dates, give you the needed attention and some extra delicious sweet talk, but once you get where he wanted you to be, then that's it. The challenge has ended and he starts losing interest and decides to move on to his next challenge. Caramel will ask about you every once in a while just to make sure you're still where you're supposed to be, but don't give him that!
Oh and there's the delicious strawberry flavor, which stands for the social butterfly kind of guy. Strawberry is also considered a player but with good intentions, unlike caramel. Meaning, strawberry is looking for the happily ever after and he truly thinks he's looking for the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Although he's quite popular, but he's a loner at heart, always looking for that special girl. Problem is, he rushes into things and his determination to find the perfect girl pushes him to get into a relationship quicker than he should. After a while, he starts realizing the differences between himself and the woman he's with, finally grasping that he should have waited a bit longer to get to know her better, but usually it's a bit too late. He ends up breaking that girl's heart by slowly stopping to be there for her, ignoring her, not going out with her anymore, until she finally gets the point and decides to end things with him. Unfortunately, for strawberry it's a repeated cycle that only he can put an end to.
Lastly but most certainly not least is mango. See, mango isn't the type of man who would appeal to anyone, he has his very own clientele or to put it better, girls with a very specific taste. Mango knows exactly what he wants and is super determined to get it, unlike any other man, he will do anything to get what he wants. He likes to be challenged and goes for girls who are quite challenging and most certainly with the right mix of brains and looks. He doesn't settle for anything! Once he manages to grab your attention and heart, he continues being amazing and promises you the world as you're supposedly the right one for him. Soon after, you'll discover that his words aren't as real as you thought they'd be. When you confront him, he starts coming up with excuses and because of his sweet nature, you end up believing him. It's a never-ending cycle which only you can break once and for all.
I couldn't help but think what flavor Amr is, perhaps a mix of dark chocolate and caramel, he certainly has a mysterious side and he's quite charming, which also explains why he decided to ditch that girl completely. And then there's Billy, who I haven't heard anything about in a long while, but I'd say he used to be vanilla and then turned into mango. That's certainly a mix that might cause some stomach pain, which is exactly what happened to me.
I know for a fact that not all guys are like that, but let's face it every guy out there has at least a little chocolate, vanilla, caramel, strawberry or mango inside of him and it comes out especially with women they're not that into. However, if they find the one who makes them fall in love head over heels, things change, and they change to the better. But until then, this is how things tend to be...