Ever Thought about Cheating? 6 Steps to Help You Stop an Affair Damage-Free

Before I get into anything, I would like to clarify that I will not be tackling this from a religious or morally ethical point of view. Women fear addressing the cheating on your husband topic openly even though it is very much present and very much talked about in closed environments or anonymous Facebook groups. With watching a lot videos and studies on helping women deal with these thoughts, I've arrived to these tips below: 

The "Romeo & Juliet" myth

Shakespeare did not write this iconic novel to bring to light that 'Forbidden Love' is the best form of romance, he wrote it to show the ugly, vengeful and dangerous the consequences are that come with it. However, since our youth we have talked about it and looked up to the beauty of their love story, forgetting its tragic ending. Maybe we should take a closer look and read the novel again to see the hidden, yet bigger meanings behind it. The sexiness of the forbidden fruit might not be as great as we think, when it ends in being poisoned with guilt from the mistake, especially when the appeal is temporary.

1. You have a choice

Feeling like this is something that is completely out of your hands and that there is no way for you to beat this attraction, is fake. If you're capable of controlling your actions with this other person then you can train to control your feelings and thoughts too. Just like you gradually train your body when you work out, you can train your brain, but it takes a lot of energy and is exhausting. 

2. The more you water your feelings, the more they will grow

Passion, lust, quick heartbeats...are things that are hard to control, especially, if you're put face to face with this person.  Meeting him often or even talking and texting on the phone are things that will make your life and his harder and allow the feeling to grow stronger. So try to avoid giving these interactions in order to stop these feelings from festering and clinging on. 

3. An addiction

Anthropologist, Helen Fisher, compared sex and love to a drug addict's need to relapse to substance, especially cocaine. Addictions release to brain senses of happiness, calmness and satisfaction, that's why it's incredibly hard to reprogram the brain to dissociate these feelings with the substance or person. Although it's difficult, where there's a will, there's a way, you can slowly start to free yourself from that person.

4. What are the real causes of cheating?

The easiest and most incorrect way to free yourself from guilt is to throw the blame on someone else, in this case your partner. Whatever reasons of resentment towards your husband led you to conclude that they are the reasons you cheated, are not actually the sole source of the problem. Once you get clear headed and done with the affair you need to sit with yourself and realize the real reason behind the distance and cheating. This realization is how you can actually prevent yourself from falling into the affair habit again and help you workout relationship problems and address you real needs.

5. Ask for help

Going through this is one of the most mentally exhausting journeys anyone can experience. Try to find someone who will fully and purely support you and help you get out of this rut without judging you or making you feel out of the ordinary. Whenever you feel weak,  have this person by your side to remind you of the reasons you stopped this to begin with and that this is something you actually want. 

6. Red flag

This is experience is a clear cut sign that should drive you to a better future with your husband. If you're reading this article, you probably love your husband and wish to continue your life with him, so your cheating thoughts or affair ending are a second chance to try to mend what's been broken and bring to the surface the problems that led you to where you are in order to fix them. 

Main Image Credits: 'Last Night' movie scene