Ramadan Kareem! How were the first two days of Ramadan for you? I'm sure most of you would have something to complain about, from lack of concentration to, of course, the hunger. Well, the good news is you'll get used to it with time. Now, let me tell you more about the crazy people around me and how they dealt with the first two days of Ramadan.
So the first day of Ramadan, I decided to take the day off to give my mum some moral support (by sitting around!) as we invited my uncle over for Iftar. After all, I needed to start making use of the vacation days I haven't been taking, plus I couldn't risk seeing Sahar's face on the first day and accidently cursing her repeatedly in my head!
As I was enjoying a very lazy and relaxed afternoon, my phone started beeping like crazy with What's App messages. Here we go again, who could that be?
Dina: Yo bitches!
Mona: Aren't you fasting? No cursing, remember?
Dina: Hmmm, oh shit I forgot!
Mona: And another one...
Billy: Guys, just go fly some kites or do whatever elsewhere!
Dina: Hello Mr. I'm too grumpy to function.
Billy: Well, at least I can hold myself from cursing every second, unlike you.
Dina: Are we getting into a cat fight?
Me: I forgot how everyone acts while they're fasting. Don't you guys notice that our true colors just burst out?
Me: Okay, so meet Dina, the chic who doesn't have any control whatsoever on what comes out of her mouth, Billy the guy who can't function without his coffee and cigarettes, Mona trying to play it cool, because let's face it she only eats one carrot per day and Habiba who has vanished since Ramadan started because food is just too damn important for her.
Dina: Oh yeah, where's our gold-digger? I can see she's online here!
Mona: Hahaha you go by gold-digger now?
Dina: Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold-digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke ******
Habiba: Dina stop it! You know I take fasting seriously, so I'm not gonna reply to that.
Dina: Who were you talking to on What's App?
Habiba: What's that? Am I back to 5th grade?
Dina: Just curious ;)
Habiba: Yes, I'm talking to Rafik, now leave me alone!
Me: So what's everyone eating today, what's the menu?
Dina: No clue, we're invited so the menu is pretty much unknown. But I bet your mum is cooking for the whole city, isn't she? lol
Me: Yes she is, she hasn't slept actually just to put Iftar together for 8 people. Once she was done, she started mumbling that it wasn't enough and she needed to do more. So you guys are more than welcome to stop by for more food!
Billy: Thanks babe ;)
Dina: No sexting here please. It's Ramadan remember?
Billy: Dina, what are you high on?
Dina: I'm just too hungry to function, can't concentrate on anything at work, so annoying you guys here is the perfect activity.
Mona: I'm having molokheya at my aunt's place.
Dina: No no no! You actually eat molokheya? And here I thought you were going to watch your weight this Ramadan and eat a few carrots and two pieces of rice :p
Mona: Bite my ass!
Dina: Hahaha you cursed!
Mona: Alahom ma 2iny sa2ema!
Dina: Too late :p
Habiba: Okay guys, I have a question!
Habiba: Rafik just invited me to go have Iftar in a week at his house. He wants me to meet his son. What should I tell him?
Me: Hmmm, that's going to be so awkward!
Dina: What if, and go along with the drama, you see his son and you guys fall for one another?
Habiba: Dina, shut up! Can you get serious for a moment?
Dina: Okay, if you like him then go!
Me: I don't think you should, you guys have been out on only two dates. I'm still against the age difference issue.
Me: Billy what do you say?
Mona: I'm with Luci on this, it's better you don't go.
Dina: Gold digga!
Me: Earth to Billyyyyyy, where are you?
Dina: Obviously he doesn't like us anymore!
Me: Possible or he just passed out while day dreaming about what he could have been eating by now...
Dina: Okay guys, I heard the weirdest thing now on the radio!!!
Mona: Why do you even listen to the radio?
Dina: I'm cool that way! Anyway, on one of the so called "religious channels", but it's not, a woman is asking the so called "Sheikh" whether playing sports in Ramadan is 7aram. WTF!
Me: Hahahha, no comment!
Dina: Another girl is asking him about her fiance, who has a great voice and is singing spiritual songs, is that haram?
Billy: Let me guess, did he say it was?
Dina: Yeah, he asked her to try and talk some sense into him and if he doesn't respond to that then she should leave him immediately. That's it, I think Ghada Abdel Razik's series are better than this shit.
We kept on blabbering and time flew by. Twenty minutes before Iftar, I put my phone aside, go freshen up and wear my gorgeous new Tamara Al Gabbani jalabiya. A few minutes later the door rings and my uncle with his family come in. My mum runs around here and there to bring the endless food piles she prepared to the table, I help her out and my dad seems to show my cousin how to juggle tomatoes. Oh man, seems like my dad has the same symptoms as Dina does; getting hyper without food!
As soon as Maghreb broke in, I saw my young cousins bringing out some sweets and snacks they've been holding up to. I couldn't help but smile, as I used to do the same exact thing as a child. I have to admit, the food was extra delicious, it was hard for me to stop eating. Once we were done, mum brought in the mouthwatering desert, from Basbusa and Kunafa just to mention a few. Again I started eating here and there, is it my fault that I don't want to miss out on delicious food?
A few seconds once we were done with dessert, my dad and uncle ran out to the balcony to smoke, as if they couldn't hold themselves. I won't judge them, I'm sure Billy is doing the same by now. Men went to Tarawih prayers afterwards, and I decided to text the gang again to pick up the conversation where we left it.
Me: Guys, did you survive the food coma?
No one replied for the longest while, up till 11 pm approximately, where one by one they start coming back to life again. Great, they all survived, even Habiba who replied around 1 am, seems the food coma hit her pretty badly.
I got a What's App from Billy around midnight saying: Guess who just texted me?
Me: Hmmm, no clue, who?
Billy: Remember Nathalie?
Me: Yeah, of course I do. What does she want?
Billy: She was wishing me a happy ramadan.
Me: That's all?
Billy: No there's more. She's also back for a couple of months...
We ended the conversation there and he wished me a good night. Bottom line is, Ramadan is all about bringing everyone closer together, whether through the endless invitations you get or through What's App groups where you discuss nonsense. Personally, this month just puts a smile on my face.