June 27, 2020 10:45 AM | by Luci
Post #108: Is Abortion the Answer?
I could not believe what I was hearing from Faisal, he always talked about how much he wanted kids, I thought this was a dream come true for him.
Faisal: I don't know Luci, I never thought I would consider abortion, but I refuse to be one of those couples that hopes to god that the baby will fix our problems and all we do is end up fucking that child up.
Me: I thought you were happy about the pregnancy. I had no idea this is how you felt.
Counselor: Luci, please let this serve as some sort of reality check. This was exactly what I was hoping would happen, that you realize what goes on in your head is a lot of the time, the furthest thing from the truth.
Me: I just...
Counselor: Our time is up guys, please take this opportunity to talk about this new awakening, and Luci, I'll see you next week for our session alone.
Faisal was just staring at the floor and breathing heavily, and honestly I felt frozen, I just didn't know what to say or do now. We stayed quite like that for what felt like hours, and somehow I managed to muster up the courage to finally say something.
Me: Is abortion something you really want, or are you just angry?
Faisal: I don't know Luci, and I'm not angry, I'm hurt, and I've felt heartbroken for the longest time and I just don't want to continue feeling like this.
I could practically see the hurt in his eyes, and I was the one to blame for all that. All I could think of is when did I let things get so messy.
Me: I'm really sorry Faisal...I...I don't know what to say to you, a thousand apologies don't seem to be enough. What can I say or do?
He just kept staring at the floor, saying nothing and in that moment, I think I understood what the counselor was trying to tell me about perspectives, because all I could do at this moment is wonder how I would be feeling if I were in his shoes.
Me: Well, for what it's worth I don't think we should get an abortion. I know how much you've always wanted a family, and I think on some level I wanted that too. It was just a shock... But here's the good news, the baby is not due for another eight and half months. So, how about we dedicate this time to working on us and becoming the best version of ourselves so we can become awesome parents?
Faisal: Yeah, I guess...
He didn't seem convinced, and honestly how could he after all the pain I've been causing him and ignoring him.
Me: Hey...look at me...we can get through this. I'm going to do better I promise. I realize the points you made, I'm aware. Let's work on us, or is that something you don't want anymore?
Faisal: I don't know Luci, I need some time to think...if I say yes right now I know I'll be doing it for the sake of our child, and being pregnant is a blessing. I just need some time to think, I want to work on us because I want to, not because of the children.
Next week I'll be telling you what Faisal decided to do. Tune in Saturday at 11:00 AM (Cairo time) for the new post.
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