Getting married for the second time, sadly comes with complications. It is any woman's right to choose a second partner that makes her happy and hopeful for a more successful second marriage. But as soon as you find the right guy who's ready to marry you, you start thinking... Am I ready for a second marriage? When is the right time to remarry? How different is getting married for the second time? Am I going to be viewed differently by society?
So here are some things to consider before remarrying...
Are you over your first marriage and relationship with your ex-husband?
An important question to ask yourself when considering remarrying is wether you miss your first marriage and your relationship with your first husband. It is very difficult, but if you're still thinking about it or trying to compare it with your current relationship, it means you still need some closure and you could still have some feelings that need to be acknowledged and faced. This is why it is best to talk to someone and gain some perspective before taking the decision to remarry.
Are capable and ready to enter a new serious relationship?
Some women find it easier to move on from the first marriage than others. However, you should think carefully about whether you are emotionally ready to enter into a serious relationship with a new person and take on all marriage responsibilities again. You also need to keep in mind that this is not just a relationship between two people, it is a relationship between your families as well.
Reasons behind the unsuccessfulness of your first marriage
You might need to think about your previous relationship and why your marriage failed the first time. It is always important to analyze and understand why things happened the way they did. It will help your understand yourself better and become a better partner in the future, regardless of who's fault it was. We should always learn from past experiences and try to learn from previous mistakes or misunderstandings.
Do not give in to any pressure around you
If you feel like you're being pressured or pushed towards a second marriage by the people around you, you need to take a step back, drown their voices and ask yourself if this is what you really want to do. Your choice should not be wavered by others and you have to be comfortable and sure of the person you're going to be spending the rest of your life with.
You want to have kids
A lot of women don't have children in their fist marriage. This can be hard on them when they start feeling ready to have kids. However, you should try and not let this be the main drive towards your second marriage. You want to make sure that this is the man you actually want to have kids with.
Questions to find answers for, before remarrying:
Asking yourself and your partner or future husband the right questions will help you both make sure you're on the same page and will help you start developing good, healthy communication between you...
Do you have children?
You both need to ask each other if you're okay with having each other's children at home, that is if you both have children. These are important living arrangements that need to be considered and talked about in detail. You should also consider your ex-husband and how comfortable he is with having your children live with both you and how you can make it work.
You also need to ask each other if you both want kids and who's ready for them and who's not. Also how many children do you want? When do you want to start trying?
Are you accepting of your partner's family?
Are you on good terms with his family? Is he with yours? Are you both ready to be responsible for each other's families and take on marriage responsibilities?
Are you ready to start compromising again?
When you're single after a marriage you feel free and you get comfortable attending to your needs and living alone. With marriage comes compromise and you're going to start living with someone else, getting used to their habits and taking a step back from some your needs. That's something you might want to be aware of going into your next relationship.
At the end of the day you should know that you have the utmost right to choose a second partner, regardless of what people think. A second marriage is in no way less than anything else, nor should it define you. If it feels right and you're ready...go ahead and here's to a lifetime of happiness...
Main Image Credits: Analise Benevides on Unsplash