Jasmine Kamal 
You know how relationships come and go, right? Sometimes they last ages, sometimes they fizzle out quicker than you'd think. But here's the thing: have you ever noticed that ending short-term relationships is often more painful? in conversations with friends, we often wonder why we feel so sad over something that lasted only a few months, maybe even less than three. Shouldn't it be easier to move on from these compared to relationships that lasted years? It's weird, right? We've all had this chat—how come a short thing can leave such a big mark?
"The amount of pain we feel at the end of a relationship isn't necessarily tied to how long the relationship lasted."
You'd think that a longer relationship, with all its deeper bonds and memories, would naturally lead to more emotional distress when it's over. But surprisingly, our emotions don't always follow that logical pattern. Relationship experts point out that the grief we experience after a breakup isn't necessarily tied to how long the relationship lasted. Emotions can be unpredictable and don't always align with the time we spend with someone.
Why short-term relationship breakups are often harder?
When we talk about relationships that fizzle out in the "honeymoon phase," it's that sweet spot where everything seems awesome. You're still in that stage where you haven't seen each other's flaws or how you handle tough stuff. Basically, both of you are still on your best behavior. During this time, the relationship feels fantastic, filled with all those great qualities and special moments. So, when it ends, you start daydreaming about what could be: "What if we kept going?", "Could we give it another shot?", "Maybe things would get even better." But these thoughts are more like wishful thinking because you haven't really seen the full picture yet.
If you've been in a short-term thing like this, you probably didn't have many arguments compared to longer relationships where you've had more time to dig into each other's quirks. Short-term relationships tend to stay in that blissful bubble, not wanting to mess up the good vibes by facing potential issues. So, when these short-term romances end, it's easy to hold onto hopes and dreams that might not match reality. Maybe you've idealized the other person because you didn't get enough time to see their full picture… It's a reminder that relationships take time to unfold, and true compatibility shows itself beyond the honeymoon glow.
How can we deal with the pain of ending short-term relationships?
Now that things are clearer and you understand why you're hurting, it's time to tackle it...
1- Recognize how you feel
Don't brush off your feelings—it won't do you any favors. Start by acknowledging and accepting how you feel. It's totally okay to feel sadness after a relationship ends.
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2- Don't overthink or make up faults
Sometimes, to make ourselves feel better, we start imagining or blowing up flaws in the other person that weren't really there or we didn't notice at first. But that just ends up making us mad and bummed out. Instead, accept that you had a good thing going for a while, you enjoyed it, and it's okay to feel sad that it's over.
3- Keep in mind why it ended
Whether it was your call or theirs, there was a reason things didn't work out. Reflect on those reasons—maybe you weren't on the same page, perhaps your goals didn't align, or maybe one of you wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Whatever it was, recognize it and understand that continuing wouldn't have been the right move.
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4- Accept missing them
It's totally normal to miss someone, especially if you spent a lot of time together. So, don't beat yourself up whenever you feel that longing. Just know it's a feeling that'll ease up with time and might eventually go away completely.
5. Take a look at your relationships
Do you find yourself getting really attached and feeling this same hurt whenever a short relationship ends? If that sounds like you, it might be a good idea to take some steps. Try not to dive into talking or hanging out with someone you're dating too much right from the start. If you can, it's cool to be upfront about it with them—let them know you want to take it slow and get to know each other gradually.
Finally, feeling pain or sadness after the end of any relationship doesn't mean you should stop dating or getting into relationships. It's just part of the journey, and it's something you can work through.
