July 11, 2020 10:45 AM | by Jasmine Kamal
Fustany Talks: How I Saw Men Growing up vs How I See Them Now
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You know puzzles? They have been my favorite game since childhood. I never let any mystery pass by me without finding it our, no matter how long it takes. But despite this, there has been a confusing puzzle for me for years up until today, and I think it will always be...Men. Yes, men. We are partners on this earth. A lot of things connect us and bring us together, but we really don't understand what they want and how they think. Do they see who we really are or do they see only what they want to see? or what they drew in their imagination? Do we see them the right way or do we only see what they want us to see? A lot of questions that remain unanswered. Today, as I go into my 27th year on this earth, I will admit that I am yet find an answer to this mystery...
Who are woman? Who are men?
Back in school, they told me that girls are a beautiful, their voices low and calm, and wouldn't say bas words, following the rules of etiquette. She always smells nice and her elegance is never compromised. She depends on herself for everything. She is not weak and there is no difference between her and a man. Men are partners in this life, and just like we respect and value ourselves, we should value and respect them too.
At home, my mom told me almost the same thing, stressing that there is no difference between a girl and a boy. She raised me and my younger brother according to that belief. I saw men as nice, helpful and equals. We do the same things...study, learn, clean the house, discuss different things and helps our mother just the same. There isn't any difference except in our appearance and body composition.
So, if this is a man, who is no different that a woman...he does not have more strength than her and he cannot do something that a women cannot do also, and he is not capable of thinking of things that she is not able to. Rather, he appreciates her because she completes it and vice versa.
But, wait! This didn't last much and the puzzle hasn't been solved yet. The real world was different and it didn't stop at what my school or mom had taught me. When I faced the real world, I found men to be imposing, controlling and believing that they're stronger and smarter, there were even jobs that were only dominated by them. Men were no longer what I used to see before! There were even women who believed in this patriarchy, thinking that they're the weaker party, and lesser in everything!
So, how do women see men and how do men see women?
I know this question is very general, varies from person to person and its answer cannot be summed up briefly. But I will answer it differently, how do 'I' see men and how do 'I think' men see me.
Today, after dealing with a large number of men, I think I can understand them a bit better...
They're just like us...they have a heart and they feel, but they find it hard to express what they're feeling. They have a mind like us, they're not stronger, but they tell themselves that they are. They find themselves conflicted between what they were brought up with and what they want to actually do or be. They do not hate us, but they think they have the right to control us because they were brought up to believe so. They think and act according to the idea that they are 'big boys' but our role is to mother them. With women, they tend to see features and forget to look at their minds. They believe women are just an attractive body and beautiful face. They believe that they have the right to do anything, and only because they're convinced that women do not.
Honestly, I think men need to confront themselves with the facts, give up on what they were brought up with, see us as we are and show who they really are, so we can seem them better!
Main Image Credits: Instagram @tezza
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