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---Growing up, people were always talking about expressing themselves through the music they make, or the paintings they draw or the photographs they take, or any art form in general. So, for me unless I was going to discover a hidden talent I didn't I know I had, there was nothing really for me to use or utilize to express myself. I love music, but I'm not a writer, composer or singer. I love art, but I can't paint, draw or make sculptures...
In college I discovered writing, and It was very relevant for me at the time to write about the things I'm feeling, but it still wasn't exactly what I was looking for. I knew I loved makeup and the more I grew up the more I fell in love with fashion, but I never thought that they would be a form of self expression for me because my style is very simple and subtle. But, also I needed to understand what self expression meant for me. Was I trying to create something visual that would explain my identity? Or was I looking for something to express my mood on a daily basis? I found out throughout time that it was the latter.
It might be a little hard to explain, but you know that feeling when you get when you wake up and you're just in this specific mood that you can't quit explain with words but it's more of a feeling or sensation? Or when you see a really gorgeous photograph or your favorite color and it inspires you so much, but you're not sure what do to with that feeling? Well this is what I wanted to find a way to express.
I was lucky to find that makeup and fashion were the perfect outlet for me. If I woke up and I'm in very 60s mood, I put on a eyeliner, a nude lip and open up a 60s playlist. If my day's starting a bit gloomy and i'm not feeling well, I put on a leather jacket, boyfriend jeans and a dark lip and somehow it helps. If I'm feeling lazy, I wash my face really well, wear a loose dress and call it a day.
Recently I've been a lot braver with fashion and makeup, so when I see a color that I love, I open up my eyeshadow palettes and create a look around that color. If I find a photograph from the 80s that I really like with these huge earrings, I rummage around for the biggest earrings I can find and style an outfit around them.
Transferring how I'm feeling on the inside onto the outside, sort of helps me make sense of it and embrace it. It's kind of like when you're the mood to watch a comedy so you play your favorite comedy film or you're in the mood to cry so you start playing that movie that gets you every time.
I was so grateful to discover that self-expression doesn't just have to be through art. I can find my own way of expressing how I feel, even if those around me don't understand it or notice it. It's for me to see and understand, not anyone else....
Main Image Credits: Instagram @frassyaudrey