A breakup is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. Men and women can get simultaneously hurt after a breakup, especially when their relationships are long or they’re still in love with their exes. In many cases, it is nerve-wracking to get past splitting with your partner. The healing process takes a long time. Even when we think we’ve moved on, the experience still affects us somehow. So today, we decided to share with you 11 steps proposed by relationship specialists and psychiatry experts that will help you survive a breakup…
1- Treat Your Breakup as a Physical Pain!
Be kind to yourself and try to treat this emotional pain as a physical one. Don’t rush the process of healing. You need to take your time to fully heal and be all right. Treat this pain as if it is a bruise or a broken hand. Then, you will understand that you need time to recover and will not rush being completely fine the next day.
2- It's Okay to Feel the Pain
When you have a cold or headache, you may tell others around you to keep their voices down or let you sleep in because you’re in pain. So, what is wrong with expressing your pain after a breakup? Both feelings are considered “pain” and both can be deeply felt and expressed, which is your right.
3- Who Are Your Supporters?
Ask yourself these questions immediately after a breakup: who do you want to be by your side in this difficult time and who will be able to understand your feelings and pain? Who will be able to listen to you or even sit next to you silently if you don’t feel like talking. As soon as you find this person, ask them for help and do not be shy. It is for these reasons family and friends exist; one of their roles is to provide support in difficult times.
4- Reconnect with Yourself
When you’re in a relationship, sometimes, you totally fall into it, forgetting what you like and what you want to do for yourself. Everything you do in this relationship is for it to work out and make your partner happy. Sometimes, you even give up some of the things that make you happy because you’re always busy or because your partner doesn’t like them. After all what you’ve been through, we think it's time to reconnect with yourself and get back to practicing everything you love.
5- Stay Away from Your “Ex” as Much as Possible
Sometimes, couples who break up think that it’s a good idea to become friends afterwards, work together, or hang out together with common friends. All of this is normal and acceptable for many people. However, the best thing, according to experts, is to give yourself a chance to stay away from your ex long enough until you recover completely. Then, you will be able to decide whether you want this person in your life or you want him gone once and for all.
6- Put Away Everything That Brings up Memories
Just as we advise you to stay away from your ex, it is best to stay away from all the things associated with him that bring up memories. Collect his gifts and everything that reminds you of him, hide them in a box, and put it away. You can even ask someone close to you to keep it for a while until you decide what to do with it.
7- Check on Your Feelings Daily
Creating a plan to deal with your feelings and get through this difficult phase will help you heal faster every day. So, check on your feelings constantly and ask yourself daily how you feel. Does your pain shrink? Do you need more time?
8- Relapse Is Acceptable
Don’t be surprised that after you notice an improvement and you start to feel less pain, all of a sudden, the pain hits you once again. This is a normal thing and it happens to most of us. However, you should know that it can happen and that doesn’t mean you’re not healing; it’s just a part of the process. You only need to follow the same steps that you followed at the beginning until you get over it.
9- Don't Think about Revenge
Yes, we know that after a breakup, many of us are preoccupied with the thought of revenge rather than recovery. You start by writing offensive tweets or posts meant for your ex to see on various social media platforms, then you deliberately tell the details of the breakup to all of your mutual friends. However, this does nothing but harm you. Instead, make use of this time for your own mental health.
10- Do not Wait for a Conclusion or Apology!
Sometimes, we tell ourselves that we'll get over our breakups only when the other person comes back with regrets or apologies. But what if none of that happens? Does this mean that we won't get over it? Don't wait for conclusions, apologies, or any sort of regrets. This relationship is over and you’ll take your time to get over it.
11- It Is Okay If You Need a Therapist
If you’re unable to move on from your previous relationship on your own, asking for a therapist’s help is okay. Sometimes, the pain of breakups is unbearable and you may not be able to deal with it wisely on your own. At this point, you must seek the help of a professional.
Finally, remember that your relationship with anyone, no matter who they are, is jeopardized. It can either last forever or end for several reasons you never thought of. So, don't blame yourself for ending the relationship; get ready to start a new chapter...