Are Your Parents Divorcing? Here's How to Cope With The Situation

Mariam Youssef
4/5/23, 9:42 AM

No matter how old you are, your parents will remain your parents. You go through life with them; you argue with them, laugh with them, play with them, and joke around with them. You adore them despite all of their flaws, embarrassing habits, and peculiarities. So what happens when they turn around and confess that their feelings for one another have changed? There are many reasons why parents separate. Divorce typically occurs when a married couple thinks they can no longer live under the same roof happily or that their initial love has evolved into something they cannot go back to.

Unfortunately, it's common for kids to believe that their parents' divorce was somehow their fault, especially when they're teenagers. This is when they tend to feel bad about what occurred or wish they could have done anything to stop the divorce. That's why it's critical to discover how to recognize, acknowledge, and validate your own emotions as a necessary step in the healing process. It is simple for teenagers and adults to repress their feelings in the wake of such a traumatic event, but doing so can have a variety of psychological and physical effects. On that note, we’ll talk about how to cope with your parents’ divorce, so keep reading.

Understand that it’s not your fault

One of the most challenging experiences you will have as a teenager is watching your parents quarrel. You should never overlook the fact that this is not your fault, even if it might be a very difficult period. Partnerships can be really difficult, and it has nothing to do with you that your parents are divorcing. It is simple to worry that what you did or didn't do contributed to your present circumstance. But there was nothing you could have done to influence how your parents' relationship turned out. You may be able to get over your grief about their divorce if you keep in mind that their actions are not your fault.

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Don’t be their messenger

Sadly, some parents will send their kids between houses as a messenger to pass on information. You shouldn't be asked to act as their middleman because this is not your responsibility. Your parents need to figure out how to talk to each other without involving you in the conversation. You are not supposed to be doing this! Realize that you have no responsibility for it. Even though it can be tough to refuse, playing this position frequently has more negative effects than positive ones. You shouldn't interfere with how your parents communicate with one another.

Don’t try to fix their marriage

Many kids believe that if they only helped their parents more or were better kids, their parents wouldn't separate. Repairing their marriage, however, is not your concern. You might express your love for them and your desire for a strong bond with each one of them. It's also improper if you act as their messenger and deliver messages from one house to another.

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Accept your emotions

When your parents split, it's normal to feel angry, confused, sad, and wounded. Your emotions are genuine, legitimate, and normal. Recognize these emotions, but resist letting them control you. Many teenagers repress their feelings. But when these emotions are disregarded, it can result in dangerous and destructive behavior. You might find yourself handling these emotions in ways you never imagined possible.

Try to deal with stress

Stress is a result of how we react to a situation, not the situation itself. Many people, especially younger children, may find that their parents' divorce is the most stressful experience they have ever had. more so if you don't have somebody with whom to talk. You must therefore discover activities that reduce your stress level. Look for activities you enjoy doing to help you forget about your stress.

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Communicate with your parents

You might not feel particularly comfortable expressing your feelings to your parents when they're divorcing. It's crucial, though, that you don't hide your emotions from them during this period. Discuss your emotional struggles with them so they can realize how the divorce is impacting you. You shouldn't be afraid or embarrassed to express your pain or rage over the divorce to your parents. Some teenagers might be concerned that doing so will upset their parents. Nonetheless, it is your parents' duty to care for you and they would want to know how you are doing.

Keep your friends close

Sometimes, talking to those close to you outside of your family can be helpful.  Your closest friends care about you and are interested in learning about your life. Have a conversation with your best friends and share your experience about your parents' divorce. These topics can be difficult to discuss, and you might not want to bring up your parents' divorce in front of all of your friends. Yet, sharing your feelings with your closest friends can be a really good approach to handling them and letting them out, making you happier and healthier and preventing the effects of suppressing emotions.

Consider therapy

It can be helpful to discuss issues with a trustworthy person. Speaking with parents or friends might be helpful. But think about speaking with a therapist or counselor. You might feel awkward discussing problems at home with a complete stranger, or you might feel guilty or feel like you're disappointing your parents if you do so. But, getting expert assistance will enable you to identify your emotions and provide you with guidance on how to handle the situation.

Children who experience divorce may suffer negative effects in a variety of areas, including psychological, physical, emotional, financial, and even academic. You may be negatively impacted by it and may experience a chain reaction of repercussions. Hence, it is important that you work through your feelings and acquire the tools you need to make you feel better if your parents are divorcing.



Mariam Youssef

Growing up, I've always wanted to become so many things: a fashion designer, painter, singer, actress, and anything that revolves around art. It wasn't until I watched "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" t...

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