As we grow, our abilities grow as well. What we understand, comprehend, and can achieve changes almost daily. While our parents may know that this is happening and that we are changing, sometimes it is hard for most of them to accept that we can do more than they think we can. It is natural for parents to want to protect us and ensure our safety, but it is necessary that they also give us room to grow and explore our abilities. Being encouraged by our parents to try new things and take on challenges can help build our confidence and self-esteem. It is also important to feel that our parents recognize and acknowledge our accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. This can help motivate us to continue learning and growing. It is important that they don't underestimate us or our abilities, as they should believe in us.
In this scene in "Mystery Box" series starring Huda El Mufti and other stars in Ramadan 2023. It is very clear that Nour's (Hudda el mufti) mother is a very critical woman; she doesn't believe in her daughter's decisions or abilities as she believes that she is the only one who knows what is good for her, and she insists on controlling her life and forces her to do things, thinking that she is doing the best for her daughter's sake. However, the concept of control in her mind pushed her to neglect her daughter to the point that she does not even listen to her needs, and all she wants is to have control over her life. She does not see that she would be mistaken about her daughter's course of life. She reached a point where she gave herself the right to underestimate her daughter's abilities, as this will absolutely affect her self-confidence. Feeling underestimated by parents can be a challenging experience. You may find that you have nothing to do but run away; you'll find yourself avoiding any confrontation with your parents. We can obviously see this with Nour in this scene, as she admits to her mother that she always escapes from her and avoids facing her, knowing that her mother won't ever listen to or care about her thoughts; she knows that her mother only cares about her own decisions and she always listens to herself.
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How to deal with underestimating and judging parents?
Set healthy boundaries
Before talking to your parents about what you would like them to adjust, first ask yourself what is bothering you and why. Identifying how your parents' specific behavior makes you feel will totally help you feel more secure and confident in asking for what you want. Try to be clear and state exactly what it is you need from them, as this will show that you are being straightforward. Make sure that your request is coherent, concrete, and measurable.
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Be assertive and communicate your emotions clearly
Assertive communication with your parents means expressing opinions. Do this by being clear about what you want to say. Think about what you want to communicate and how you want to express it; try to do it in a conscious, direct, and balanced way. The purpose of this is to communicate your ideas and feelings without hurting someone or being hurt. It’s essential to communicate assertively with your parents, as this will let them know that you have things on your mind that you care about and that they are important to you. Most parents, when they recognize that, will respect your thoughts and needs, as this will lead to healthy bonds, mutual respect, and affection between you and your parents.
Focus on what you can control
Some parents won't care after you have explained yourself and your feelings; in this case, you have nothing else to do, and you don't have to force them to be convinced of your thoughts. However, you have to start focusing on yourself and what you can control; don't let their negative beliefs affect your plans or your self-confidence. All you have to do is focus on yourself, set goals, and put your mind to achieving them. By doing so, you will prove your parents wrong through action and success by working hard and achieving your goals. Don't let people's opinions affect you; believe in yourself and in your abilities.
Expanding your social circle
Expanding your social circle is a great way to find support and build confidence. You can do that by joining social groups that interest you, such as hobby groups or social clubs. This will give you the opportunity to meet people with similar interests. You can also attend events such as parties or networking events where you can meet new people. You can also volunteer, which is a great way to meet people and give back to your community. Building relationships takes time and effort, so be patient and keep an open mind; it is worth it.
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Parents should always encourage their children to explore their potential and try new things. However, there are some parents who are not supportive, and they would be underestimating their daughters/sons , and this can be really challenging. In this case, you've got to follow these steps to know how to deal with them.