When it comes to a relationship, conflict is inevitable. No matter how much you have in common with your partner, you will never have the exact same feelings, thoughts, or values. In some cases, you'll find yourselves fighting over situations or just normal life things. The conversations may become heated, but as long as they stay respectful, these can be meaningful moments and good for the relationship, as they may actually bring you closer together because they teach you valuable communication skills, and that's a great thing. Life won't have a meaning and would be boring if you didn't have negotiations and arguments with your loved one, as healthy fights make you learn from the person you're building your life alongside.
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Things to keep in mind in your next argument with your partner
Schedule a time for the argument
When conflicts happen between you and your partner, it’s beneficial to choose a time to talk about these problems. Setting aside time to work out disagreements with your partner allows you both the space to regroup, and it will help you avoid the instinct of being defensive. You'll be able to think about the best way to communicate your feelings in a calmer and more rational way most of the time. You may say things impulsively because you are just angry, but take care because the words stay with us anyway.
Call a timeout if it's needed
During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to have this harsh fighting mode on, and won't be able to turn it off. However, when couples reach this point, problem-solving is highly unlikely,as each person is only focused on reacting to what is said to him in the argument. Even if only one person is in that fighting mode while the other is trying to resolve the problem, it can absolutely frustrate both partners and escalate the fight. So, in case you and your partner are really upset with each other and no one is able to handle the fight and solve the issue, it is better that someone call for a timeout.
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Requests are better than complaints
Fights may often start with blaming your partner rather than asking them to do something that you'd like them to do. For some people, it’s easier to ask their partner why they never do something than to simply request that they do it. For example, if you are stressed out about something, or if you are a married couple, and you are not feeling great about how the house looks, or you just want your partner to pick some stuff up, it is better to say it in a direct and respectful way rather than just putting your partner down for his failure to meet your needs.
Listening is the key
When it's time to sit down and talk about solving problems, the most important thing couples must do is listen very well without interrupting each other. Although it can be more challenging than it seems, it is the best way to find solutions to the arguments. Making sure you and your partner have eye contact when you are speaking will also signal that you are both listening. Actually, these small things can prevent countless fights down the road.
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Know how to apologize to your partner
People have different apology languages, so it is very important to know when your partner needs an apology. It's not enough to only realize that you’ve hurt your loved one; you also need to understand and know them well enough so the apology fits their needs. Some people may want you to say that you are sorry and that you will take steps not to do that again. The process here is figuring out what’s meaningful for your partner.
Knowing how to have an argument or a fight in the right way will bring you and your partner closer to each other, and you'll be able to get what you want and at the same time solidify your relationship. Any couple needs to work hard to solve conflicts and go through to the other side of an argument while they are both still holding hands; if they both want this from deep inside them, it is certainly worth the effort.