Moving on Is the Best Revenge... Here’s a Great Way to Do It

Why do many women tend to take revenge?

Many women choose the path of revenge, although it is dangerous and has more consequences than benefits. They seek revenge because of their feeling of being wrong while they were defenseless to protect themselves. They may feel emotionally wounded, but more than that they need to take an action so they can feel in control once again. Their motivation for the revenge action is to let the person who hurt them knows how angry they are, and they think it will make them feel better or provide a sense of relief. 

Will seeking revenge make me feel worse?

As a matter of fact, just as breakups can seriously affect our mental and emotional health in a very bad way, so too can seeking revenge. The idea of someone hurting and betraying you might make you feel the urge to cause them the same distress in return but take a word from me that is never a good idea.

Here is why revenge is never the answer:

1- It won’t make you feel better

You might be thinking that it will provide you great relief from the pain that you are feeling, or you may be satisfied. Sadly, when you seek revenge instead of forgiving or letting go, you’ll feel worse in the long run. By becoming obsessed with this path you are draining your energy and stopping yourself from moving forward positively with your life.

2- You are stuck in a loop

As humans we are creatures of habits; we have the ability to create our habits and have control over it, but getting too focused on revenge will make us lose the patterns of our life. Revenge loops are real, and they will make us remain stuck and miserable while missing out on a number of opportunities that could offer us growth and fulfillment. When we obsess over revenge, we obsess over the negative things in our life that cannot be changed, and that leads to more negativity all around.

3- It’s a waste of time

Revenge seems like it’s fulfilling to the healing process, however when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture; it’s a huge waste of time and energy. Life is short, and we have a limited amount of charge in our battery. By chasing other people and seeking their unhappiness we are totally wasting our energy negatively. Our time and energy can be better spent by creating the future we want. So we can be fulfilled and happy on our own regardless of anyone else.

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Is it really necessary to move on with life?

The answer here is yes, firstly it’s seriously the only way to transcend your need for revenge. Secondly moving on is learning how to need ourselves more than others, and to reach out for the things that offer powerful opportunities and growth. Keep scrolling to know how to start focusing on yourself.

 Be honest about your feelings

 Honesty is truly one of the most important skills we have to learn in life. We are rarely honest about how we’re feeling or what we really need. We project ourselves to be perfect humans that only share happiness or successes. However, finding honesty does not mean immediately finding peace; it’s a process that takes a lot of time and a lot of understanding to master. Honesty means acceptance, and it means facing things that make us hurt or feel uncomfortable. So, if you’re looking to put things to an end; you have to start being honest with both yourself and others, especially if the closure is what you want and need.

 Be bigger than your anger

We are all trying to make it in this world. To achieve this, you have to focus on putting good and grace out into the world around us. Kindness empowers us to put the good out into the universe, rather than bitterness and anger. To succeed in being bigger than your anger is to do three things each day that put good into the environment around you; you can say a good compliment or help someone in need; take time to count the things you’re grateful for. Letting your positivity empower those around you; will transform your day and make a great difference by creating a more positive world. Breakups are not easy, but the pain they cause is as impermanent as anything else in life. So, hold on tight, and let go of the anger you have toward your ex.

 Start your forgiveness journey

Most self-help articles talk about forgiving the people that hurt us so we can move on, but too often they tackle the importance of forgiving ourselves. Suffering a relationship breakdown may result in a loss of trust in ourselves equal to the loss of trust in others. We doubt ourselves in ways that are toxic and self-defeating. Forgiving yourself does not mean accepting all the mistakes you made. It simply means detaching yourself from the pain and rage that’s buried deep within you; eating away at who you are and the future you have planned for yourself. Hatred only holds your progress back. Forgive and empower yourself to make the positive changes you need in your life and relationships.

Trust the time it’s powerful

Time is a great healer when it comes to our relationship breakups. The healing process can’t be hurried as our pain won’t evaporate overnight; it will get better with time; however, all things change as the days go by. The more distance you put between yourself and the person you can’t stop thinking about, the more you will heal emotionally. We have to take our time it’s something that can’t be rushed. 

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Putting it all together, breakups are emotionally and mentally draining. When we get dumped or find our partner crumbling; it can be tempting to take revenge, but in that way, we make ourselves feel worthy and lose a number of opportunities that might help us feel happy again.