Your Guide to Relationship Anxiety: Causes, Signs, and How to Overcome It!
Mariam Youssef
9/28/22, 6:00 PM

You're in a loving relationship with a wonderful person. You've established boundaries, built trust, and been familiar with each other's communication preferences. You might simultaneously notice that you are continually doubting your partner, yourself, and the relationship. What about the future? How do you tell whether this person is actually the one you should be with? What if they have a dark secret they're trying to hide?

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Any time during a relationship, regardless of how long you and your partner have been together, anxiety might start to creep in. But do not fret. It is typical to feel anxious about your relationship. According to specialists, everyone faces anxiety at various stages of their dating lives. Additionally, it varies in how it affects your relationship. Therefore, we'll talk about relationship anxiety: its causes, signs, and how to overcome it.

So, what is relationship anxiety?

It occurs when a person has uncertainties about their partner or relationship and worries about them. You can find yourself worrying about whether your spouse still thinks you are attractive, whether they will find someone else to love more than you, or whether they are still in love with you in the first place.

You may have a hard time believing your lover, even when they reassure you. If you hold doubts about your partner, you may end up ruining the relationship: You might put them under pressure to prove their loyalty, start arguments, or put them to the test.

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When does it happen?

You could experience anxiety during the beginning of a relationship about whether you even want to commit to someone, whether you're a good match, or whether he’ll be accepted by your loved ones. All of this is normal and healthy. Additionally, it's normal to keep checking in with yourself throughout the relationship to see how things are doing with your partner.

It becomes more difficult, though, if anxiety is sabotaging the relationship, negatively affecting your mental or emotional health, and negatively affecting your partner. It then becomes difficult. When anxiety results in uncertainty and stress, there is an additional cause for concern.

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What causes it?

Since there isn't a single obvious explanation for anxiety, figuring out what is causing it can take time and careful self-examination. Even finding possible causes on your own may be challenging. The cause of the anxiety may not be obvious to you. But regardless of how it seems, the underlying causes typically reflect a desire for connection. Some typical elements that can cause it, such as:

1. Previous Relationship Experiences

Your past relationships can affect your current one negatively, causing you to doubt it and feel anxious about it and your partner. This is likely to happen, especially if your ex cheated on you, dumped you suddenly, or lied to you about his feelings.

2. Low Self-Esteem

When suffering from self-doubt, those with lower self-esteem are more prone to question their partner's emotions. In other words, when you feel bad about yourself, it comes naturally to you to think that your partner feels the same way.

3. Attachment Style

You probably formed a secure attachment style if your parent or caregiver gave you the love and support you needed right away. However, your attachment type can be less secure if they didn't consistently meet your requirements or allowed you to develop independently in the past. This can lead to either you feeling anxious about being committed to someone or fearing that your partner may leave you all of a sudden.

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What are the signs of relationship anxiety?

Aspects of relationship anxiety exist. Here are a few possible indications of relationship anxiety:

1. Overthinking

It's obvious when you're overanalyzing and reading too much into your partner's words and body language that you’re anxious. You may start asking questions like, "Does my partner love me as much as I do?" You may even behave out or even feel envious of your partner's interactions with others if you overthink the stability of your relationship.

2. Doubt

Doubt is a typical anxiety symptom that can swiftly disrupt your relationship. Doubt can cause you to spy on your companion more than you normally would, look through their belongings, and develop a mistrust for them even though they haven't done anything to trigger it. Once your partner realizes that you have suspicions, they'll probably become annoyed or agitated at having to repeatedly justify their actions.

3. Constant Need for Validation

Anxiety develops when a person constantly requires their partner to confirm their love, and it is a tremendous load to place on another person. Being insecure with yourself or your relationship is indicated by a constant need for reassurance from your partner.

4. Shutting Down

Not everyone expresses their anxiety openly. People might shut down out of fear, and that kills a relationship. Shutting down is not only unhealthy, but it also sends confusing signals to your partner because it leaves them to interpret your feelings on their own.

5. Insecurity

Even if the insecurity isn't a direct outcome of the relationship, in an anxious relationship, one of you may project their insecurities onto their partner. Therefore, when you have a terrible opinion of yourself that is most unlikely to be true, you're probably going to assume that your partner thinks the same.

6. Worry

Anxiety frequently shows in the form of stressing over the state of your relationship. As you consider all the possible ways your relationship could end, your fear may turn into unhealthy tension that prevents you from being there, living the moment.

How to overcome it?

Overcoming relationship anxiety isn’t as simple as someone telling you that everything is going to be alright. However, it can be done. It’s going to take some effort from your side to beat relationship anxiety and finally feel happy about where you are in life. These tips can help you a great deal:

1. Figure out The Reason Behind It

Is it low self-worth? Fear? Lacking assurance? Shame? Identifying the source of your fear and making associations with earlier events or your upbringing might make you more conscious. Sometimes we feel insecure because we doubt our ability to select good relationships for ourselves.

2. Be Honest with Yourself

At your most anxious stage, you might not want to communicate your feelings, yet doing so is crucial. Relationships can suffer from a lack of communication, yet these relationships benefit and deepen from healthy communication. Additionally, it maintains open channels of communication. Allow the supporting system in your life access to your innermost thoughts.

3. Use Self-Soothing Methods

The physical symptoms of anxiety can include a fast heartbeat, tightness in the chest, and dizziness. Develop your body scanning skills to become more self-aware. Self-soothing techniques include deep breathing, guided meditation, yoga, and engaging in activities that emphasize one of your five senses.

4. Try to Build Trust with Supportive People

Building trust in relationships is crucial for preserving strong ties, despite the fact that it can be challenging. Make time for the individuals who care about you in your life. Building trust takes time, experience, and a pattern of consistently practiced behaviors. It doesn't happen immediately.

5. Address Differences in Opinion

Relationship conflicts that are not addressed can result in animosity and the breakdown of your relationship. While conflict cannot be avoided, it must be managed and resolved constructively. Although it could be challenging, try to start by emphasizing "I" comments and accepting responsibility for your part in the conflict.

If you’re experiencing the negative impacts of anxiety in a relationship, always remember that you are not alone. Even though your experiences are individual, some people can relate and desire to support you. Consider letting those people in after familiarizing yourself with the relationship anxiety triggers, symptoms, and coping techniques.

Main image credit: @weworewhat

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Mariam Youssef

Growing up, I've always wanted to become so many things: a fashion designer, painter, singer, actress, and anything that revolves around art. It wasn't until I watched "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" that I realized that writing is the one thing that will enable me to write about all sorts of things and all types of art. Writing is one of the dearest things to my heart as it expresses who I am and what I stand for. My wardrobe is pink inked, fashion is my passion, beauty is my duty, and cats are my best furr-iends❤️