Narcissism is a very real and common personality disorder. The person who possesses this quality isn't necessarily a bad one. They only have a negative personality trait that could be affecting your relationship and needs to be worked on. So, how to deal with a narcissist husband? There are ways to help you work on the relationship with him or help him figure out that there is a problem that needs work and fixing.
What are the characteristics of a narcissistic husband?
A narcissist man is often described as a selfish person with self-centered thinking and lack of consideration for other people. A lot of them put themselves first because they constantly need to receive admiration. So, people in their lives naturally come second when it comes to love and attention. Narcissists can also find criticism hard to receive and accept. They also have a sense of entitlement and tend to hype up their achievement, success, or their self-importance in general.
How to deal with a narcissist husband?
1. Talk to him honestly
One way to deal with a narcissist in a smart way is to be honest and clear while being smart with your words. For example, depending on the situation, you can tell him that you feel upset from his lack of interest in you or your feelings. If you notice that he's defensive or rejecting your words, try to maintain calmness and patience. If he's treating you with love, show him love and attention as well. Make it clear that in order for the relationship to succeed, there has to be love and communication coming from both sides.
2. Avoid criticizing him
Try to avoid attacking or criticizing him as it will only make him more defensive. It is hard for a narcissist to see his own mistakes. Instead, try giving advice in a smart way and try to create balance by throwing in some compliments and words of affirmation to help cool down the conversation.
3. Give him love and attention
Despite the fact that narcissists need too much attention, giving it can actually help sometimes. Maybe the more he feels love and attention being given to him, the more he realizes that other people are important as well and he can start to develop a deeper understanding of care and that relationships revolve around and consist of two people. Maybe then, you could start to see more love and care being given from his end.
4. Give him support
Narcissists love receiving attention and admiration, so this can actually be helpful when it comes to strengthening your relationship. Positive support and encouragement can make it easier to show and convince him that if he makes some changes, you'll be happier and the relationship will be better. He'll also understand that he should care about you and your happiness just like you care about his.
5. Be patient
It is definitely hard and can even be extremely painful to be patient, but if you believe in him and the relationship, it could work. You just need patience in order to mend and make the relationship successful. If he starts to work on seeking change in his negative characteristics, it can be life changing for him and your relationship. It's hard, but you never know, it could work! He can even start to appreciate the patience and effort you've invested in the relationship. You just have to be honest with yourself and what you feel in your heart. If you're unable to proceed or keep trying with no noticeable change, you can use the help of a therapist to assist you in making your marriage work.
6. Using "We", not "I"
A narcissist probably uses "I" a lot even in the simplest things. Try to bring that to his attention and emphasize on replacing it with “we”, especially when talking about your relationship. This can help bring to light the meaning and importance of a partnership and balance.
7. Suggest counseling
This is one of the best solutions for this problem. The main issue here might be him refusing to consider counseling, whether for him or marriage counseling for both of you. It could really help if you can try to make him understand that this is for both of you and will help your relationship become better, so you don't lose each other. Maybe start with marriage counseling so it can help you deal and communicate with him in the right way, and also help him get closer to the making a change.
8. Prioritize your life and self care
It is important for your partner to see you confident, successful, happy with your self, and full of self love. It could be a reality check for him, but also so he can see how important your life is and remember how important you are to his life as well. Hopefully, that can reduce forms of selfishness or unhealthy sense of entitlement. He'll also understand that he's not the only one who matters. You too matter a great deal!
9. Share his interests
Try to share his interests. It can help you both get closer and help you understand him better or learn how to approach him. If he's into gaming, try to get into this world and play together. You'll share laughs and memorable moments that will surely make your marriage stronger.
10. Tell him everyone cares about him
For daily quarrels like trying to get him to go to a family gathering with you, for example, try taking a positive approach with him. Remind him that everyone cares about him and they want to see him and spend time with him. Always boost his self esteem by telling him how your family members and friends love him. He'll feel satisfied and happy at heart. Plus, you're practically not lying when you tell him that, right?