"He sleeps right after sex!" This is one of the most common problems among a lot of women concerning their sex life. It's always interpreted as selfishness from the man or seen as a sign that he no longer loves his wife. However, we're here to tell you that it has absolutely nothing to do with you! Don't take it personally because it's all about his psychological and physical state.
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Let's start by understanding what happens to a man's body after sexual intercourse. David McKenzie, an expert specializing in couples counseling and sex therapy, says that the chemistry of the human body greatly differs between both genders, especially when it comes to how the body responds after intercourse. A man's body secretes the prolactin hormone after sex which makes him feel so exhausted, unlike his female partner. Moreover, the fact that some women don't necessarily reach orgasm each time they have sex with their husbands, makes them have more ability to talk and stay awake after the intercourse is over. That said, we’ll show you more reasons why your man sleeps after sex.
He no longer needs physical connection
As we all know, ejaculation takes place outside a man's body, and it's the sign that he has reached his peak pleasure. It's said that after a man reaches climax, he immediately loses interest in further physical connection, and that's what makes him fall asleep to subconsciously find a peaceful private zone. This is completely unlike a lot of women whose orgasm depends on the internal zones of her body which makes her ready to keep in contact more and more with her man.
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Release of relaxing hormones
As discussed earlier, the prolactin hormone makes your man so exhausted. However, prolactin is not the sole reason why he can't keep his eyes open. During sex, the "feel-good" hormone oxytocin also increases, which can help clear his mind of any unpleasant thoughts and encourage relaxation and sleep later. Additionally, if you engage in sexual activity at night, his body's internal clock will be alerted that it is time for bed. As a result, his sleep cycle will be triggered by melatonin, the body-clock regulating hormone. That way, he'll have the trifecta for an excellent nap when prolactin, oxytocin, and melatonin all combined.
The power of sexual intercourse
Let’s not deny that most men masturbate even when they’re married or sexually active. So you may start wondering why men sleep after sex but not after masturbation. Well, a recent study found that, for unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times as much prolactin as masturbatory orgasms. That may be because of the physical connection and the level of pleasure men feel while having sex compared to them just touching themselves.
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This point is a bit tricky, but we’ll do our best to explain it in a simple way. In terms of evolution, a man's main objective is to have as many kids as he can, and sleeping doesn't exactly help him in this endeavor. But perhaps the greatest use of his time would be to sleep since he can't just run off with another woman right away. We’re not saying that your man wants or thinks about being with other women; it’s all intrinsic and instinctive. To sum up this point, after-sex sleepiness is actually linked to a stronger need for affection and bonding between partners. The deeper the urge for bonding, the more probable it is that your partner would nod off after sex.
Bedroom = Bedtime
There's a more basic explanation for why your husband falls like a log after sex. Sex usually occurs in the bedroom, frequently in the evening. It makes sense that when in the bedroom, which our brains associate with bedtime, we would feel tired. Women are also likely to report feeling exhausted after sexual activity.
Men are more likely to sleep after sex because exertion and exhaustion tend to limit the amount of energy-producing glycogen in muscles during and after climax. Women don't feel as drowsy after sex since they have less muscle mass.
What if you still want your husband to stay awake for a little while after sex? These tips may help:
1. Try having sex before breakfast/dinner. In the morning, your man will probably have had enough sleep and is ready to start his day. He got his sleep and won't be needing to fall asleep anymore. On the contrary, having sex during that time will boost his energy and refresh him. Before dinner is also a nice time since both of you will be looking forward to having a romantic meal together and maybe an intimate conversation.
2. Avoid the traditional at-the-end-of-a-tiring-day sex. One keeps longing for bedtime when going through a harsh day, and after an exhausting day bed means sleep! You usually won't enjoy late night “tired sex” - as we may call it - since both of you will fall asleep right away with no energy or time to experience any passion during or after the intercourse.
3. If you wish to talk to your husband and share important feelings with him after sex but you think he doesn't feel like talking after sex, try to talk first about anything you know he's interested in. After you get him involved, choose your desired topic.
The next time your man does not engage in afterplay or falls asleep after sex, don't take it personally because there is a scientific explanation for it. This behavior is being displayed for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with your relationship, his feelings for you, or how he performs in bed.
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