10 Tips to Help You When Having Sex the First Time

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Tips for preparing for your first-time sex

1. RELAX!

The most important thing you should do before having first time sex is RELAX! Take a hot shower and use some scented shower gel; drink some tea; or do anything that will make you calm down. You don’t need to do it on the wedding night just because you should or because it's a tradition; absolutely not! In fact, weddings are usually very tiring, leaving you both exhausted and out of energy. You shouldn't do it unless you both feel like you’re ready, emotionally and physically.

2. Should we or shouldn't we?

If you can’t decide whether to have sex on the first day, just relax and let things move naturally. Watch something (TV or a movie) together, hug, cuddle, and talk a bit; you’ll definitely find out whether you’re going to take things further or you’re not in the mood. You have to know that there is nothing wrong with postponing sex for the very first time if you don’t feel like it or if you’re feeling tired.

 3. Lower expectations and communicate

Once you actually decide to have first time sex, don’t expect it to be perfect and mind-blowingly amazing. Remember, this is you having sex for the very first time, and you’ll probably both be nervous and a bit confused. The key to a successful experience is to communicate and be honest about how you feel. Also, as much as you need him to be sensitive and understanding, you also need to assure him and calm him down. He will probably be nervous and feel pressured.

4. Prep the tools

Remember that there are some things you might need while having sex for the very first time, such as tissues, condoms (if you’ll be using them), lubricant, and maybe a hair band. It’s also a good idea to leave a shirt or robe next to you if you're still a bit shy or self-conscious when getting up.

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5. Talk and foreplay

Before having sex for the very first time, talk about the things that turn you on. If something hurts, SAY IT! Be patient, and ask your partner to be patient with you too. Touch, kiss, and engage in various sexual activities to excite each other before attempting penetration. That way, you’d be more "in the mood" and your body would be reacting properly and lubricating itself in preparation for the next step.

6. Lube

It’s a good idea to keep lubricants on hand, as you’ll most likely need them. Make sure that it’s a good brand to use, preferably water-based; the more slippery, the better. Remember to keep applying it as you progress, if needed.

7. How to reduce the pain?

Lots of women worry about whether they’ll feel pain during sex for the very first time, how painful it is, how long it lasts, whether it hurts after the first time, etc. Well, that varies totally from one woman to another. Some women don’t feel pain at all; others feel it like a prick of a needle; and others find it quite painful. But there are ways to lessen the probability of feeling pain. The first of which is to stay relaxed.

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The more relaxed you are, the less tense your muscles will be, and the less pain you might feel. Go slow; rushing things to get them over with is never a good idea. Choose a suitable position, preferably the cowboy position, where the girl is on top. That way, you get to control the depth and speed of the penetration. If you go for the missionary position, you are both lying down with the guy on top, make sure to let him know what you need and if it’s painful.

8. The vaginal opening

Sometimes the vaginal opening is too small and cannot be penetrated with the male organ right away. In that case, use a finger or two to stretch it a bit, and then try again. The most important thing about having sex for the very first time is to communicate, be honest, speak your mind, and don’t be shy. Don’t rush it; go slow and relax your vaginal muscles. If it’s too painful, there is nothing wrong with stopping and just cuddling, then trying again later.

9. Bleeding! 

There are so many wrong ideas about bleeding when having sex for the first time. First of all, you HAVE TO bleed a bit; otherwise, you’re not a virgin. WRONG! Some women bleed a few drops the first time only; others bleed the first two or three times; and some don’t bleed at all. Sometimes it’s only the next day that a few drops appear, which is why it’s a good idea to carry some daily pads with you for a few days after. It differs from one woman to another and sometimes depends on the nervousness of the woman and the hastiness of her partner.

10. What about orgasms?

Keep in mind that men reach orgasm faster than women, and it’s actually hard for women to reach it through intercourse alone. In fact, the first time you have sex, you might not reach it at all. This is perfectly normal, and it doesn’t mean that you or your husband did something wrong. The most important thing is that you enjoy it, explore the sensation of being with the man you love, and do so with the least discomfort and pain.

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First time sex might leave you with a variety of emotions, such as happiness, excitement, confusion, and maybe a mix of them all. Tell your man what you need, and find out what he needs too. Be it a cuddle, a talk, or even being left alone, just give yourself what you need and provide it for your partner too.

Try to follow this and remember, when it comes to sex, practice makes perfect.

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