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The first time I read an article on the 5 love languages was in my final year of middle school. I know that this might seem too early, but I can only say it was simply pure curiosity. I've always been so passionate and curious about learning languages that I even recall myself saying once that I will learn to speak every language on earth... I know, don't mock me. I knew that there was Arabic-my mother tongue, French, English, Spanish, and so on... But what does it mean for there to be a language of love?
When I read about love languages, there was only so little that I understood due to my young age. But I realized I had to read more about this so I can start to understand it because to be honest I was just too embarrassed to ask anyone. It started to come together and make sense by the end of high school. And so, if you let me be frank with you, I can honestly say that I never really got convinced that there were only 5 languages of love.
For example, I am someone who feels loved whenever the person in front of me gives me a lot of attention, appreciation and support, while also serenading me with words of love, and you could also add to that physical touch and I'll be just as happy as well. So, can you tell that for me alone, I have more than one love language, all of which speak to me. However, I do see each one differently...
For example, attention for me means feeling listened to and having the person remember everything that is important to me. However, when it comes to my mother, she believes that this form of love can be expressed best through her making us a delicious meal. I think my mother knows deep down that food will always be the closest to many people's hearts. As for my partner, he knows that he is not the best listener, but for him giving love and attention comes with him caring for every detail and helping progress in many areas of my life.
As for me, when it comes to getting support and comfort, things get a little complicated. I am someone who rarely talks about their problems or what I'm going through. And when I actually do, I need the person in front of me to support me by acknowledging what I'm feeling or going through, and it can be expressed by holding my hand or hugging me. However, my partner believes that support means having someone to lean on that can help resolve the problem. So naturally he immediately provides me with logical solutions which tends to irritate me in the moment. That's because the first thing I look for is moral support and he believes that actual support is shown through actions. Nevertheless, the kind of support he provides is different from the one he wants to receive. For, when he needs support he actually tends to prefer forms of moral support from me, like holding his hand or saying comforting words.
As for my mother, she believes that support boils down to getting the person in front of her to dig deep and let out everything they're holding in, so they can talk about it openly, without giving them physical comfort, for she believes that this could trigger weakness.
As you can see now, the love languages my mom uses with us children may be the same as the one I use with my partner and the one he uses them with me, but each of us has a different interpretation of it, which kind of changes its meaning. So yes, I don't think there are only just 5 love languages!
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Main Image Credits: Instagram @katerinandyinon