Mariam Youssef 
On the one hand, as soon as your kids start to go to secondary school, many things change in their lives, appearances, attitude, and behavior. That’s why parents fear this phase the most as they’re not sure how to handle or deal with their kids who suddenly became teenagers. Kids, on the other hand, feel that their bodies are changing, their voices are changing, and their needs are different. One of the things they usually resort to so that they can figure themselves out is porn. There is a difference between being curious about porn and being addicted to it. That’s why therapist Yasmine El-Garhy will talk to us about teen p*rn add!cti0n, its causes, and how to deal with it.
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- Tell us more about yourself, your education, and your expertise.
Yasmine El-Garhy is a registered psychotherapist from Canada. She’s a master’s degree holder in counseling psychology. She has also studied addiction recovery coaching and is a certified adult educator, so she delivers sessions to people to grow their mental health and abilities.
- To help people understand more, could you tell us what p*rn add!cti0n is?
P*rn add!cti0n is when someone is dependent on something in an abnormal manner that affects five aspects of their life. It’s preferred to use the term “dependent” rather than “addict” because the latter can be shameful in our society. Moreover, to define dependency, the dependent person (whether on p*rn or something else) should have five losses, which are financial, social, physical, psychological, and spiritual. When there is a clear disorder in these five aspects in someone, then we can call them dependent. So, p*rn add!ti0n, in a nutshell, is when someone is excessively exposed to porn videos and masturbation, which affects their life badly.
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- What are the p*rn add!cti0n signs that teens and their parents need to pay attention to?
Teenagers usually tend to talk about and discuss sexual topics and watch porn videos since this is a way of discovering themselves as their urge for exploration maximizes at this age. Doing so will get teens to figure out things they didn’t know in elementary stages. Parents can notice some signs that their kids are dependent on p*rn. For example, the most apparent signs are when teens are constantly in their room with the door closed alone or with a friend to share watching porn. Another sign is when a teen looks at the other gender in a weird manner or when they excessively shy away from watching an intimate scene on TV with their parents.
Parents can also take preventative measures to protect their teen kids from viewing p*rn websites in the first place. Most importantly, parents need to be friends with their kids, talk to them, and start sex-educating them in a healthy way that they can grasp.
- How can p*rn add!cti0n affect teens in specific?
P*rn-dependent teens usually suffer from excessive anemia and a decreasing level of dopamine. They also suffer from extreme anxiety and lack of self-confidence that is caused by viewing excessive porn videos that don’t belong to real life, which brings them to dissociated reality.
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- What are the main aspects that lead to p*rn add!cti0n in teens?
P*rn add!cti0n starts in teens when they don’t have friends around them, face parental disapproval, are not able to understand themselves or what they want in life, don’t like their physical appearance, or fight constantly with their parents and receive labels (like “you’re stupid,” “you’ll never be successful,” etc).
- Do parents need to interfere to solve this issue? If yes, how can they do so?
Once a parent finds out about their kid’s p*rn add!cti0n, they have to talk to them in a reasonable way, explaining why it is bad for their health and how badly it can affect their life. The parent can also take their kid to a specialist to treat this dependency and can try to find something for their kid to do to distract them from p*rn dependency. The most important thing parents need to do is to make it clear to their kids that they haven’t breached their privacy; they just need to talk about the things they found out about.
- Is marriage one of the right solutions for p*rn add!cti0n?
Definitely not! The White Book of Sexaholics Anonymous answers this question clearly, saying that many people think that marriage will solve the p*rn add!cti0n problem, even though both are totally different things. P*rn add!cti0n is a self habit while marriage is a relationship between two people. On the contrary, many marriages fail thanks to p*rn add!cti0n and the couples end up resorting to sex therapists or simply getting divorced.
- Can p*rn add!cti0n affect teens' sexual activities in the long run when they get married?
Yes, of course. If someone is used to self-pleasure in an excessive, abnormal way, it will be extremely difficult to find the right partner, let alone enjoy a sexual relationship with them. P*rn-add!cted men will suffer from pre-ejaculation while p*rn-add!cted women will hardly enjoy any pleasure. Men and women who depend on porn heavily will suffer from a lack of self-esteem, which can ruin their marriages.
- P*rn-dependent teens can be reading this, so what can you advise them with?
If a p*rn-dependent person is reading this, I’d like to say to them that I understand what you’re going through. You’re discovering yourself and exploring your preferences. You discovered something that increases your endorphins, releases stress, and makes you momentarily satisfied. This thing makes you feel like you’ve grown into an adult and are no longer a child. However, believe me, you’re living in a fantasy world, watching staged “movies” that don’t belong to our real life. Please, don’t hesitate to talk to someone older, be it a parent, uncle, or a family friend about your secret habits and ask them to help you not to watch such movies. Moreover, you can help yourself independently by visiting a therapist who can surely assist you.
- Finally, share a general message to teens' parents.
To all teens’ parents, I know life is getting harder every day to raise teens, but the most important thing you need to do is to be a friend to your teen kid. Set boundaries and rules but make it clear that they can tell you anything since you’re their safe place. Your kid doesn’t need to fear you; they only need to respect and trust you. Instead of making your kid fear you, make them fear disappointing you. This way, they’ll always be keen on telling you anything even if it’s wrong. Make yourself accessible so your kid doesn't be shy while talking to you. It is best to pass your experience to your teen kid so that he doesn’t rely on someone else who’s not trustworthy. Always dedicate time to every kid and ask about their activities and what they like to do. This will increase your parent-child bond and will make it easier to overcome any difficulties.
