First-Time Sex: How to Reduce Pain and Improve Pleasure
Fustany Team
5/17/23, 8:15 AM

First-time sex can be a rollercoaster of emotions; it can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and even painful for some individuals. Pain during first-time sex is common, but it doesn't have to be an unavoidable experience. With a few simple tips and techniques, you can reduce pain and discomfort during your first sexual encounter and make the experience more pleasurable. In this article, we'll provide some helpful tips to make your first-time sex experience as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

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Does it have to hurt the first time you have sex?

Many people believe that first-time sex has to be painful, but this is not necessarily true. While discomfort or pain can happen, it is not inevitable. Some factors that can cause pain during sex include anxiety, tense muscles, and a lack of lubrication. So, get ready to know how to minimize the chances of experiencing pain.

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Tips to reduce pain during the first-time sex

Talk about sex with your partner

Openly communicating with your partner about sex is crucial. It's important to share any concerns or fears you may have and be honest about your feelings. Remember, you'll be sharing your body with your partner, so it's essential to express your needs and boundaries. Don't hesitate to speak up and calmly share your thoughts. Discussing your worries with your partner can help alleviate anxiety and make the experience more comfortable for both of you.

Pre-sex warm-up 

To make your first-time sex experience more enjoyable and reduce the chance of pain, it's important to warm up beforehand. This can be done by engaging in lots of foreplay, which can help you relax, feel more comfortable, and produce more vaginal lubrication. Foreplay can include kissing, touching, oral sex, and manual stimulation, so take your time and go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. It's also important to avoid sudden movements and allow things to progress slowly and gently. Remember, everyone is different, so take the time to explore your body and find what feels best for you and your partner.

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When you're new to sex, it's normal to feel nervous or anxious, and this can cause you to tense up your muscles, including those in your pelvic floor. This can make sex harder and even painful. To help avoid this, try taking deep breaths and relaxing your body before and during sex. You can also try things like yoga or meditation to calm your mind and body. Be patient, talk openly, and focus on what feels good for you.

Different positions

Changing positions during sex can sometimes alleviate pain, so here are some options to consider:

Traditional missionary position: involves face-to-face contact and may enhance intimacy during sex.

Add a Pillow: Placing a pillow under your pelvic area can provide extra support and help manage the depth of penetration during sex.

Standing: Leaning against a wall or table, facing your partner, and wrapping your legs around them can provide added support while also stimulating your clitoris by rubbing it against your partner's body, which can enhance sexual pleasure.

On Your Side/Spooning: Lying on your side with your partner face-to-face can allow you to control the depth and pace of penetration.

No need to rush

It's important to be patient with yourself and your partner during sex and not take any preconceived notions too seriously. You might have certain expectations about how things should progress, but take a deep breath and relax. Allow yourself plenty of time to get aroused, and communicate with your partner about what feels good and where you want to be touched. Take it slow, and when you're both ready, your partner can slowly ease into you, using their fingers to help. Find a pace and rhythm that work for both of you, and remember that there's no need to rush.

 Choose a comfortable and relaxed location 

Choosing the right location for your first time having sex is important. You should pick a place where you both feel relaxed and comfortable and where you can have some privacy for a few hours. It's best to avoid places that are too public or might be distracting. To set the mood, you can add personal touches like music and lighting. 

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Keep expectations reasonable

When it comes to your first time having sex, it's natural to want it to be special and memorable. However, it's important to keep your expectations realistic and not expect a perfect, movie-like experience. It's important to be fair to yourself and your partner. If you're feeling too nervous about sex, it's important to be open to talking to a counsellor or sex therapist, who can help you work through any concerns.

Pain during first-time sex can be a real concern, but it doesn't have to be. By trying these tips, you will make your first sexual encounter more comfortable and pleasurable.

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