Jasmine Kamal 
Have you ever thought about how pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child can completely change a mom’s life and identity? Have you ever met a woman who loved her job her whole life but decided to give it up to stay with her baby, and wondered how that happens? Or seen a woman who’s afraid to have kids because she worries it might negatively impact her career that she’s worked so hard to succeed in? These are just a few examples of the complex challenges working moms face after having children. So today, we talked to five moms about the career advice they wish they’d gotten before becoming parents...
5 Career Tips Moms Wish They’d Known Before Having Children
Experience It Without Expectations
Rana, a woman in her late twenties, went through motherhood and believes that expectations can really mess things up. She says, “Before having my baby, I thought I’d just go back to work right after my maternity leave. I’d never been used to staying home for long periods, and I had everything planned out perfectly.” She adds, “But, surprise—things didn’t go as planned. Motherhood isn’t the same for everyone. My maternity leave was incredibly tough, and I didn’t have much help. I realized that my baby still needed me, and I couldn’t just leave her with my elderly mother and return to work. I found out I needed to be involved in every little detail of my daughter’s life. It was hard to leave her at that time. My love and attachment to my baby outweighed my lifelong passion for work, so I immediately applied for an unpaid leave to get more time with her.” Rana emphasizes, “What I mean is that we should approach motherhood without any expectations because it’s truly full of surprises and emotions that influence our decisions, and all of this is hard to predict.”
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Family’s Well-Being Is Also Your Own, No Matter What Decision You Make
Heba points out that every woman should understand after having a baby that the family’s well-being is also her own, and vice versa. She says, “During my pregnancy, I was obsessed with the idea that if I quit work after giving birth, it would be for my family’s benefit, not mine. And if I went back to work, I’d be a selfish mom only thinking about my personal success, ignoring my family’s needs. It was exhausting trying to figure out the right choice, and this thought stayed with me even after my son was born, especially as my maternity leave was ending.”
She adds, “Eventually, I talked with my husband, and we realized that going back to work wouldn’t make me a selfish mom like I’d feared. Working actually makes me happy and fulfilled, which helps me be a better mom. Plus, it would give my husband a bit more time to help with raising our child. We also needed extra money—my husband’s salary covers our basic needs, but with a baby, expenses go up. So, my job would actually help stabilize our family.”
Heba concludes, “I realized then that my earlier thinking wasn’t right. Why did I think my own well-being was separate from my family’s when they’re so closely connected?”
You’re Not a Superwoman… You’re a Human, a Mom, and a Working Woman
"Menna, a thirty-something mom, begins by saying, 'You know, as women, we’ve been raised to feel like our achievements go unnoticed. So, we keep pushing ourselves to prove our worth and claim what we deserve. But in doing so, we forget that we’re just “human” and act like we’re superwomen. We pressure ourselves and end up feeling like we shouldn’t admit we’re tired or need help, and that we shouldn’t make mistakes. But that’s not true, especially when deciding to return to work after having a baby.'
She continues, 'When I had my baby and maternity leave ended, I went back to work with the mindset of doing everything perfectly. I wanted to be the best mom and achieve even more at work. On the surface, it seemed like positive self-talk, but in reality, it was a nightmare.'
Menna explains, 'I started putting so much pressure on myself that I ended up with constant headaches and extreme irritability. Every time I made a mistake, I felt like I was failing as a mom and a manager. I cried daily in the bathroom and felt like I was drowning and needed someone to save me. The strangest part was that I refused any help because I wanted to prove to myself that I was a superwoman.'
She adds, 'Fortunately, my family intervened. My husband, mother, and sister took a firm stand and started helping me with the baby, forcing me to face the reality that I’m just a person. Since I’m only human, it means I can’t do everything perfectly. It took me a while to accept this and stop hurting myself. I wish I had been honest with them from the beginning—they would have given me the perfect advice instead of me going through all this.'”
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Balancing Work and Raising a Child Is the Key
Nadia says, “Before my baby was born and even before I got married, I used to spend most of my day at work, taking work calls at any time, even while hanging out with friends, and sometimes working on weekends. I wasn’t bothered by it; even if some people thought it was a mistake, it worked for me. This continued until I had my baby and went on maternity leave.”
She continues, “When I went back to work after maternity leave, I expected things to be the same and everything would be fine. But from the first month, I started feeling intense pressure and guilt, especially when I was spending time with my baby and still getting work calls.”
She adds, “Then a friend gave me the best advice of my life: balance. You can’t be happy if you don’t give each part of your life its own time.”
Nadia explains, “I took her advice to heart. I stopped answering work calls after hours, stopped working during vacations, and used that time to be with my daughter. To my surprise, things got easier. I wasn’t falling short at work or with my daughter. I felt calmer and didn’t have to run around all day.”
Learn to say "NO"
Farida, a mom of twin toddlers, started by saying, "At work, we often forget to refuse or say 'no' to things that don’t suit us, and it gets worse when we’re moms because we think it’ll diminish us or weaken our standing." She continued, "When I returned to work after maternity leave, I was incredibly lucky to get support from my family. But I made a mistake: I wouldn’t refuse anything at work, even if it negatively affected my family, because I wanted to prove that being a mom wouldn’t change anything in my life." She added, "This continued until I was asked to travel for a week. I was torn about what to do with my kids. Yes, my family helps, but that doesn’t mean I should be away for a week without seeing or taking care of them. I went to my mom’s house to talk about it and she told me I should refuse and explain that this doesn’t suit me or my situation as a mom. She said that being a mom doesn’t lessen my responsibility at work, but it’s smart to choose what fits my circumstances because that’s the beginning of success."
In conclusion, every woman who has navigated the transition from childbirth to returning to work carries unique insights, yet none escape the inherent challenges. Motherhood reshapes many facets of life, but this shift does not diminish your passions or interests. The ultimate key is to trust in your own strength and abilities, acknowledging that you are embracing a demanding yet profoundly transformative journey.
