November 30, 2020 04:00 PM | by Mai Atef
How to Deal With a Narcissist Husband? 10 Tips to Help You...
Narcissism is a very real and common personality disorder, it does mean that this is a bad person. It just means that they have a negative personality trait that could be affecting your relationship and needs to be worked on. So, how to deal with a narcissist husband? There are ways to help you try to work on the relationship with him or help him figure out that there is a problem that needs work and fixing.
What are the characteristics of a narcissistic husband?
A narcissist is often described as a selfish person with self centered thinking and lack of consideration for other people. A lot of them put themselves first because they constantly need to receive admiration. So people in their lives could come second when it comes to love and attention. Narcissists could also find criticism hard to deal with and receive. They also have a sense of entitlement and tend to hype up their achievement, success or just generally their self-importance.
How to deal with a narcissist husband?
1. Talk to him honestly
One way to deal with a narcissist in a smart way is to be honest and clear, while being smart with your words. For example, depending on the case, but you could tell him that you feel upset from his lack of interest in you or your feelings. If you notice that he's defensive or rejecting your words, try to resume communication calmly and with patience. If you find that he's showing you a loving side, show him love and attention as well. Make it clear that in order for the relationship to succeed, there has to be love and communication coming from both sides.
2. Avoid criticizing him
Try to avoid attacking or criticizing him, it will only make him more defensive. It is hard for a narcissist to see his own mistakes. Instead try giving advice in a smart way and make a balance by throwing in come complements and words of affirmation to help cool down the conversation.
3. Give him love and attention
Despite the fact that they could need too much, giving it can actually help sometimes. Maybe the more he feels love and attention being given to him the more he realizes that other people are important as well and he can start to develop a deeper understanding of care and that relationships have 2 important parties in them. Maybe then you could start to see more love and care being given from his end.
4. Give him support
Narcissists love receiving attention and admiration, so this can actually be helpful when it comes to the dynamic between you. This can help you know his strength so could have the will and ability to change. Positive support and encouragement could make it easier to show and convince him that if he makes some changes, you'll be happier and the relationship will be better and that he should care about you and your happiness just like you care about his, and show him love and support.
5. Be patient
It is definitely hard and could even be extremely painful, but if you believe in him and the relationship, it could work. You just need patience in order to mend and make the relationship successful. If he starts to work on seeking change in his negative characteristics, it can be life changing for him and you relationship. It's hard, but you never know it could work, he could even start to appreciate the patience and effort you've invested in the relationship. You just have to be honest with yourself and what you feel in your heart. If you're unable to proceed or you keep trying and see no change, you have the utmost right to seek happiness elsewhere.
6. Using 'We', not 'I'
A narcissist probably uses 'I' a lot even in the simplest things. Try to bring that to his attention and emphasize on replacing it with 'we', especially when talking about your relationship. This could help bring to light the meaning and importance of a partnership and balance.
7. Suggest counseling
This is one of the best solutions for this problem. The main issue here might be his will to consider counseling, wether for him or marriage counseling for both of you. It could really help if you could try to make him understand that this is for both of you and will help you relationship become better, so you don't lose each other. Maybe start with marriage counseling so it could help you deal and communicate with him in the right way, and also help him get closer to the making a change.
8. Prioritize your life and self care
It is important for your partner to see you confident, successful, happy with your self and full of self love. It could be a reality check for him, but also so he can see how important your life is and remember how important you are to his life as well. Hopefully that could reduce forms of selfishness or unhealthy sense of entitlement.
9. Share his interests
Try to share his interests. It could help you both get closer and help you understand him better or learn how to approach him.
10. Tell him everyone cares about him
For day to day issues like trying to get him to go to family gathering with you, for example, you can try taking a positive approach with him. Like reminding him that everyone cares about him and they want to see him and spend time with him.