Have you ever been on a date and felt so rusty that your date was so boring? It’s been a while since you were in a relationship, right? You were taking some detox time and focusing on other stuff, which is great. But now that you’re going on another date, we have to get you prepared so you don’t ever sound or feel rusty. Read on for some excellent tips that will help you make your date interesting after being single for a while.
Acknowledge that you're a little nervous
Start the date off by doing this. The probability is high that the other person will acknowledge feeling anxious as well. This will make everyone laugh together and help to reduce some of the tension.
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Start with a basic conversation
There’s no need to complicate things. Simple, basic conversations are the best way to start talking to someone you barely know. The basics are a good place to start, even though they might not be the most interesting topics to discuss on a first date. Knowing more about your date's history will enable you to steer the conversation in more intriguing directions and prevent those awkward lulls in advance. It's a fantastic way to start a conversation to talk about how you spend your days or where you work and whether or not you like it there. To create a pleasant atmosphere and add some enthusiasm to the conversation, you can even be enthusiastic about the things you like to do.
Make a connection
We’re not trying to stress you out here or force you to do things that make you feel out of your comfort zone. Making a connection with your date is really easy and it can be done at any point once you both feel a bit comfortable. Even if you and your date have common interests in subjects like religion or school, it's important to establish a rapport on additional issues as well. Examine how his experiences and interests compare to your own.
Ask about how his day or week has been
The fact that a date may feel like an interview is one of why first dates may be so uncomfortable. It can be helpful to make an effort to understand his background to break down barriers to genuine connection and move past stock canned, cold responses. A wonderful approach to do that is to inquire about their current circumstances. Consider this question as a technique to learn more about the person's current top concerns. People frequently share a bit of what's now spinning their wheels when they chat about how their day or week is going, such as any issues they're currently facing or the aspirations they're actively pursuing.
Talk about what’s happening in your life right now
Bring your entire, chaotic, flawed self to your dates. Avoid feeling anxious about trying to simply showcase your greatest successes; instead, be honest about how your life is really going right now, good and terrible. In general, people prefer to be around others who are open and vulnerable. You feel good when you meet someone and you see they are comfortable with themselves, whether it's in a romantic or professional setting. At that point, we think, "This is a nice interaction; the conversation is pleasant.”
Notice and ask about small details
You want to show that you’re interested in the guy you’re talking to, and the best way to do that is by being attentive. It only makes sense that you give your date your full attention when he’s talking to you because you don’t want to be rude on your first date. Try to grasp what he’s saying and feeling while he speaks by actively listening to him as opposed to trying to plan your response for when he finishes talking. Then, address and support what you're hearing and observing about him. People typically speak more freely when they feel seen, heard, observed, and listened to in all the subtle ways that make them who they are.
Ask how he feels about his job
Talking about work is a standard conversational gesture, so if you're planning to do it, go a little further. What about his work interests him? What about his career doesn't excite him? What aspirations does he have for the future? What did he wish to be as a child? Simple inquiries can become in-depth conversations where you get an idea of who he is as an individual rather than receiving a scripted response.
Compliments go a long way
Complimenting someone goes beyond their looks. This is where you’re going to put your active listening skills to the test. When you’ve been exchanging topics for an hour or so, you'll notice his overall energy, sense of humor, and the way he’s expressing himself. Use these things to throw a few compliments that will surely make your date more fun. Moreover, there’s nothing wrong with complimenting his appearance or outfit. You don’t have to wait until he compliments you so you can do it back.
Get to know what makes him laugh
Nothing is more enjoyable than hearing someone you know laugh genuinely. It might be a particular movie, viewing videos of startled cats leaping into the air, or a baby laughing. Each of us has experiences that truly make us laugh. Ask him about his and share yours too. We bet this will result in a burst of laughter that neither of you expected.
Discuss your favorite shows and films
One of the things that could make the conversation really fun is talking about your favorite movies and TV shows. It is very likely that both of you may agree on a show or two. Maybe then, you can unleash your inner critic and start talking about what you love the most about these shows.
Last but not least, enjoy every bit of your date. This is actually fun, so don’t stress about it. Yes, it’s preferable to be prepared beforehand (hence this article), but this shouldn’t stress you out. It’s okay to be nervous at the beginning of your first date, especially after being single for a while. But don’t worry. When you follow the above tips, your date will surely be a breeze and it may turn out to be one of the greatest memories of your life 10 years from now.