How to Deal With Your Double Standard Partner?

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Discuss the matter calmly

Start the conversation when you're ready, and try to remain calm. Don't be confrontational since you don't want this to escalate into a fight. Bringing up how it's unfair that your partner is allowed to do the things you aren't can easily turn into accusing your partner. Don't try to blame him. You can inform him of the problem while keeping your cool. You don’t need to hold him accountable for his actions; you simply want to draw his attention to the injustice.

Point out specific examples of double standards

Your spouse will make an attempt to defend himself. He might even insist that your marriage doesn't involve any unfair treatment. As a result, it's crucial to have examples prepared for the conversation. When it comes to having friends of the opposite gender, is your partner permitted to flirt with others while you are not? Every weekend, does your partner go out with pals when you aren't permitted to do so? Do you take care of all the household duties while your partner only goes to work? This step cannot be skipped. Simply prepare your examples and be persistent in your goal to attain equal rights in this relationship.

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Come to an agreement to have equal rights

Your conversation shouldn't stop until both of you have acknowledged having equal rights, but this won't be easy. It's possible that you'll have to make a few compromises. For instance, perhaps your partner could quit doing something instead of allowing you to. Different compromises can be made to find fairness in your marriage, depending on your circumstances. For example, if you don't work and your partner does, you might offer him some simpler tasks. He should still perform chores and make some sort of contribution.

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Normalize saying “no”

Saying "no" and standing by your decisions are sometimes the only options. You must establish limits and be clear about what you will and will not tolerate. What specifically is your partner forcing you to do or banning you from doing? After all, you have the option of doing or not doing something! Regain your independence and express your demands. Sometimes you'll need to argue with your partner in order to obtain what you want, but don't accept things as they are merely to keep the peace.

Initiate things

Men are frequently expected to take the initiative. This occurs not just when you're dating, but also when you're already married, which is  just unhealthful. You should practice taking the initiative more frequently. It shouldn't be the sole responsibility of one individual to initiate things in a relationship. Work with your partner to make suggestions together rather than letting him decide everything on his own.

Your choice of friends

Perhaps your partner limits or disagrees with your choice of friends, or both. On the other hand, you have no control over who or how often he hangs out with. Without a doubt, there is a double standard here, and it is unfair to you. Why doesn't your spouse like your friends? Encourage him to get to know your friends better by spending more time with them. Before he knows them well, some can come across as obnoxious and harsh, but when he spends time with them, he might actually like them or at least understand why you enjoy their company. Tell your spouse why you enjoy their company and urge him to make an effort to get to know them or at least let you be.

Transparency when it comes to spending money

Your partner wants you to be open and honest with him about your earnings, debts, and spending behavior, but he keeps secrets about his own. Although money is a touchy subject, there shouldn't be any unfair treatment. You don't have to disclose your salary or your spending habits to your partner if he doesn't want to do the same. You can't avoid this topic for very long if you are in a committed relationship that might result in a shared account. Perhaps you could monitor your joint expenses together and put some money aside that you can share.

Don't let your partner's double standards ruin your relationship or make you feel imprisoned. Talk to him and tell him everything that you don't feel okay with. Try to stay calm, but be persistent at the same time until things get sorted out.

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